Saturday, August 31, 2013

Secrets That Kill

I am thankful to God for sending a man into my life to speak a truth to me. Sometimes we say ouch, but if we allow God to do His work in us and understand that He disciplines those He loves, we can learn and grow from it.

Of course, this brought me into some repenting and God spoke to my heart. Thank you, Jim, for pointing out what should have been the obvious, there is no protection in a lie.

Assaults come from every direction. We try to do right, but in our own strength, we cannot. In reflection, we have to ask, what is the root cause.

So, here is what I heard this morning during my quiet time with Jesus.  

John 11:39,40

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

Do you see it? Jesus said roll that stone away. But, he will stink, they said. Roll that stone away!

When we do a spring clean in our house, we open the windows to let the light in and to let the fresh air in to get rid of that staleness. Is it time to do some house cleaning? I am not talking about our house, I am talking about us.

What have we hid in our tomb? What secrets do we have that we do not want to expose, because it brings shame? Do we think that if we pretend it does not exist that it will eventually be forgotten? Our sins are forgiven when confessed, not with time. You have heard that time heals all wounds? In this case it is not true. Denial does not mean it does not exist. Let us not ignore the elephant in the room.

There is no place for shame (which is really pride) if we want deliverance. There can be no secrets, what is hidden must be exposed.

Hidden secrets are lies. Satan is the father of lies. Hiding in shame (pride) is partnership with the devil. Whose child are you?

We must expose the darkness. Secrets are always kept in darkness. We must let the light in. We stumble in the dark, Jesus brings light so that we can see and not stumble. We must remove the stumbling block of sin. If we hide our sins, we hide from God.

If we refuse deliverance, we do not accept the healing only God can bring.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

Even sins committed against us can be used as a hindrance to deliverance. We must release the offender to Jesus so that we can be free of injuries against us, to be healed. We must trust that God is the judge.

We cannot hold onto insult, hatred, offense, or grudge. God is the defender of the offended. He will bring recompense  We heap coals on our enemies heads when we choose to forgive and walk in love.

Sins that we have committed must be confessed. True repentance is acknowledging AND admitting a wrong (sin) and then turning away from it.

If we hide our sin, our foundation is built on a lie. What is built on a weak foundation will crumble. Confession brings healing, forgiveness brings strength and truth will set you free.

Be Free & Stay Free






Sunday, August 11, 2013

Good works aren't good enough

It is not being good that will get you into Heaven. Try as hard as you may, but in your own strength and given to your own devices, this will not do it. Your goodness is not the ticket to Heaven.

Nor is:
  • going to church
  • singing in the choir
  • taking a vow of poverty
  • being wealthy
  • giving all of your money to causes
  • not drinking, smoking, or any other thing you view as wrong
  • not stealing
  • being kind
  • volunteering
  • working in ministry
  • preaching to thousands
  • being faithful to your spouse
The list can go on and on, but you get the point.

Our own righteousness is like a filthy rag Isaiah 64:6.  When we hold ourselves to the law  we will always fall short. There is no way we can fulfill the law. If we break one, we are guilty of breaking them all. There is a price for violating the law and the judge is a just judge and He can not let the guilty go free.

But there is a way!

Thanks be to God, our fine has been paid. Our debt has been paid. It is through this free gift that we can be sure of our salvation. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me."

Let everything you do be to the glory of God. Don't let your good works be for nothing.

For God so loved the world (you and me) that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Be Free and Stay Free

Freedom!

Have you ever wanted something so much that you were willing to pay any price to get it? Make any sacrifice and give all you have for this one thing? Maybe it was a relationship, an object, or a position?

When we have obtained something at a great cost, we cherish it and protect it. It is valuable to us, even if others do not see it's value.

We display it and we guard it so that it will not be lost, broken or stolen. Because we know the price that we have paid for it, we will not be convinced by anyone, or anything, that it is not worth it.

Stop! Before you continue to read this, pause for a moment and think about this.

Then read Ephesians 1:3-14.

I have wanted many things. Some I have obtained and some I haven't. I was willing to sacrifice much to take hold of what I saw as valuable. But, I was never willing, nor did I consider, laying my own life down, or the lives of my children, to receive what I thought was valuable.

Yet, this is what God did for us. He purchased our freedom through the blood of His Son, Jesus. We belonged to sin and the end results would lead us to death (or hell, if I can speak bluntly). But because of His redemption, His grace and His mercy, we belong to Him now. We are His treasures and He paid a great price for us.

Death no longer has a hold on us. Fear has been evicted. There is no more condemnation. We have only assurance that God loves us so much that He gave His only Son for us. Who the Son has set free is free indeed.

So...open your eyes and raise your hands and stand firm on this truth: I am blessed and highly favored and nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can separate me from the love of God.

Be free and stay free!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Real Love

If we have not experienced the unconditional love and affection of our fathers while growing up, we may find ourselves in toxic relationships; or unsatisfying, at the most.

As little girls we yearn to be loved and protected by our fathers. If that need was not met we become women who will accept anyone (or anything) who will offer to fill that need. Often, what they offer is a counterfeit and before we realize it we are sucked into another relationship that heaps coals onto our fire of doubt, insecurity, fear and self-hatred.

This is not an issue of intelligence, but a matter of the heart.

A wounded heart that is unable to self love will struggle with boundaries. Our mind may know that a person is not right for us, but our emotional need to fill a void will tolerate almost anything.

Do you find history repeating itself? Are you giving more to a relationship than you are receiving? Is your fear of being alone greater than your courage to walk away?

I have heard women say "love has eluded me." Honestly, I admit, that I too have echoed these words. I have wondered if would ever experience love and I have found myself settling. It is not a good feeling, is it? What I have learned, and am still learning, is there is no man out there that can fill this void.

When we have not experienced the love of our fathers, we have no standard to measure the love of a man. Without this, we set our standards low, and because we do not value ourselves, we find ourselves with men who devalue us. We fall in love too easy and we are crushed when it is not reciprocated. We, unfairly, demand that a man love and value us, when we can't even love or value ourselves.

We mask our insecurities with false independence. We brush off assaults and "act" strong. We cry, we become bitter, untrusting, and then we hop into another relationship. With each new relationship we have hopes and illusion that 'this time he is the one'. We ignore red flags, we stifle our fears, we act on impulse and we become foolish women.

Do not awaken love until the time is right - Song of Solomon 2:7

When is the time right? You will know you are ready for love when you have first fallen in love with yourself. To love yourself you must first meet the true love of your Father. I am not talking about your earthly, biological father. I am talking about your Heavenly Father. Your real Father who you can cry out to as 'Abba, Father' (Galatians 4:6) He is not a man sitting in the clouds somewhere and unapproachable. He is with you right now and He cares for you.

We must first know who He is and who He created us to be. We must accept His unconditional love and receive His affections toward us.

Dear woman, you are His creation, His daughter. He does not love as man does, His love is flawless. He is faithful. He is strong. He is patient. He is kind and He sees you as beautiful and worthy.

Cultivate your relationship with Jesus before you attempt a relationship with a man. Until you fully understand how much He adores you, and trust Him, you will continue in one empty relationship after another.

You are so worth it! You are beautiful! You are the precious daughter of the King, take your position.

Be Free & Stay Free!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Distractions

Sleight of hand is the set of techniques used by magicians to manipulate objects secretly. It is most employed in close up magic, but can also be used on stage.

Sleight means dexterity or deceptiveness (cunning, sly, clever).

The guiding principle of sleight of hand is to be natural. It also depends on the use of psychology, timing, misdirection, and natural choreography to accomplish the magical effect. Misdirection is perhaps the most important component.

Street magicians use this technique to get you to guess which shell the ball is under, or to pull coins out of your ear.

I knew a magician. He was constantly practicing on me. At first, I was amazed. I would always guess wrong. But, after watching him for so long, I began to figure out his tricks and it was not so easy for him to fool me.

The Bible says that we are not to be ignorant of the devils devices. Just like the magician, that ol' devil tries to misdirect our focus. He is very cunning and sly. He entices us with what we think he holds in his hands.

I have been guilty of distractions. I have been focused on the immediate and was not able to look past that distraction to see the big picture. You have heard the saying, "can't see the forest because of the trees"? That was me. I was blinded, I fell for the illusion. Is this where you are now?

Like a game show, we try to guess what is behind curtain number two. We gamble away all that we have for the perceived prize; only to learn that we have been tricked.

We buy that cheap ring only to find that it leaves a black mark on our fingers. Why? Because we focus on the immediate, we hesitate to pay the price for the future. The sad part is that we do this over and over again. Why do we keep doing the same thing and expect different results?

We have been created with a purpose and a calling. Unfortunately, some of us will not fulfill our call because we are distracted with what the sly magician has waved before us.

Some of us have bought the lie that a relationship with a man will complete us. We have fallen prey to one toxic relationship after another. At first we are enamored by the attention, distracted by the high, we ignore the red flags because we try to catch what was never released.

As little girls we are taught that our prince charming will come. We look for the charming, instead of the prince. We expect a man to come along and valiantly slay the dragons, jump through fires, climb towers, find our glass slipper and kiss us back to life. Dear girl, this is make believe.

There is only One who can give us the kiss of life. There is only One who can turn a frog into a prince. And that One is Jesus.

Do not be distracted by clever illusions. Do not settle for cheap imitations that will leave a black mark on your soul.

Set yourself apart for Jesus. Let Him do His work in you. Stay in Him so you will not be deceived. When the time is right He will bring your prince to you. He will do this when you are ready and when he is ready. When this man comes, you will hear His Spirit whisper...this, My beloved, is what I want for you.

Be Free & Stay Free

Monday, June 10, 2013

Are You Hiding?

Do we not know that we must give account to every idle word we speak? We will be justified or condemned by our words (Matthew 12:36,37). We all make mistakes, but if we control our tongues, then we can control ourselves in every other way (James 3:2). We are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God; so that we can show the goodness of God to others, because He has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).

We must not be distracted! We must not be controlled by our emotions. If we say that we love God, then we must behave like we do. Take inventory. What are we saying and what are we doing? Are we participating in conversations that we should not? Are we in relationships that we should not be in?

Does your life seem out of control? Is everything coming at you from all directions? Have you lost your peace?

I plead with you, give your bodies to God as a living sacrifice - the kind He will accept. After what He has done for us, is this too much to ask? Don't act like everyone else, quit trying to fit in. Let God transform you, you are now a new person, by changing the way you think, then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will is for you (Romans 12:1-2).

We can not rationalize or offer excuse. Your freedom has been bought with a high price. You are no longer your own, you belong to God.

Let God have His way in you. Be filled with His Holy Spirit. Turn away from your old way of life, old habits and toxic relationships. Do you not remember what He has delivered you from?

You must take captive every thought and arrest every imagination. Whatever you set your thoughts to, that is the direction that you will go. If you have not let go of your past, you will relive your past. Only this time it will be much worse (Matthew 12:43-45).

How do you know you may be slipping? Listen to the words that come out of your mouth. Feel that sting of conviction when you are with certain people and/or participating in things you ought not to be participating in. You no longer seek God, instead you try to hide from Him.

You are not to be a bystander to that which seeks to destroy you. You must be an active participant in working out your own salvation. Live a clean and innocent life as a child of God (Philippians 2:14-16).

He never said it was going to be easy (John 16:33), but He did promise to never leave you (Matthew 28:20).
 

Be Free & Stay Free!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Enough

There was once a little girl who wanted to be good enough.

Everything she did, she tried her best. Her hope was to hear her father say that he was proud of her. She tried very hard to please him. She was the fastest runner and she delighted in hearing him say that. She tried to be mothers helper, watching after her younger sister and brother. She tried her best in school to get good grades to earn the approval of her father; to stay in his good graces. But, it seemed, no matter how hard she tried, she was never good enough. Her father was an angry man and very scary. So, this little girl began to learn how to protect herself. This is when that shell started to form around her heart and this is when her foundation began to crack.

The little girl became an adolescent Realizing that she would never be good enough, she gave up trying to please him. Rebellion entered the house and she welcomed it. If she could not be good enough for her father, she would be good enough with her friends.  Her choice in friends were not always good. Even though she was a small girl in size, her outward appearance was strong. But, inside, deep inside... she was scared. She would sometimes look at other girls and imagine if they were happy. Did they have parents who loved them? Did they feel safe at home? She wondered what it would be like to have their life. She longed to be good enough.

As a young woman she made herself good enough; well, kind of, in a distorted way. She felt good enough when a man paid attention to her. When he told her she was beautiful. When he showed kindness to her. She found herself in relationships that she should have never been in. In her search of being good enough, she gave away her most precious gift. She entered each new relationship with hope, only to walk away feeling empty and used. Soon she became distrusting, skeptical, cynical and fed up.  She decided she could not be good enough and realized that men were not good enough anyway.

Yet, there was still that longing, that need to hear the words "you are good enough."

We all have that need. The need to love and be loved. To be noticed and to know that we matter. To not be invisible. We try to fill that need, that void, through relationships, food, addictions, medications, career; anything to numb that pain of loneliness and rejection. If we can stay busy enough we can convince ourselves that we are OK, even if we are not.

Dear sister, did you see yourself in the little girl, the adolescent or the young woman? Were you victim to the very people who were suppose to care for and protect you? What you missed, did you try to find and each time come up lacking? It is a sad place to be in.

You can not change your past, but you can make a choice for your future. You do not need to be a victim, you can be a conqueror. Some of what happened was not your fault. Some of it was. We have all made choices, and sadly, there are consequences to our choices and sometimes others suffer the consequences.  

It is not too late. The burdens that you have, they were not meant for you to carry. Jesus said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light"  Matthew 11:28-30

When we try to be "good enough" on our own, we will always fall short. When we look to others to validate us, we will be let down. We can not be "good enough" on our own and there is a spot in us that was never meant to be filled by others. There is only One who is enough and through Him we are good enough. In Him we find acceptance and love. In Him we find our strength and freedom to be vulnerable enough to be that beautiful woman He has created to us to be. In Him we find completeness and an intimate love that no one else can give.

I encourage you, my sweet sister, stop running, avoiding, denying, masking, hiding, manipulating and fighting. Cry out to Jesus, for He cares for you. He gave His life for you and in His resurrection you can find redemption. Let Him wash you and trust Him to finish the work that He has begun. You are precious in His eyes.

Even though a wrong has been committed against you, you still have to acknowledge your own wrongs. These wrongs are called sin. No matter what you have done, no matter how bad, He says that if you confess your sins to Him, He will forgive you. He will remember your sins no more and you become a new person. He will call you daughter and He is a Father that you can always trust to provide for you, care for you and protect you. He is the Father who will rejoice over you and will comfort you. In Him you will find no rejection. He will never leave you.

Be free and stay free.





Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Grant Me the Favor of Your Face, Jesus

 
Oh Lord, bless me
& keep me
Cause Your face
to shine on me
Lord be gracious
with the light of Your countenance
Give me peace
for I live only
to see Your face
so shine on me

Monday, June 3, 2013

Break Every Chain


So...You Want True Intimacy?

God has created sex between a husband and wife to be pleasurable. To be an act of worship and submission to one another. This is an adoration that is pleasing to God. This is a deep recognition of the gift that God has placed before you, the gift of a lifetime love and lover.

There is a time and a season for all things.

Courtship is ministry to the heart. If God is the center of your relationship, this will be a time when your heart can safely open without fear. This is a time to establish trust and friendship with the one that could possibly be your spouse. This is when the foundation is laid. Without this foundation, when the storms come your house will be destroyed if all you have based your affections on is the lusty desires and immediate, but temporary, satisfactions.

Intercourse causes soul ties. This is why you are tore apart after a break-up when you have been physically intimate with someone outside of marriage, because you have given that special gift away to someone who has not made the commitment to love you forever and to forsake all others.

Sex outside of marriage leads to distrust. Can you truly trust someone who has given themselves to you? If that person claims to love you, yet will not wait until marriage, can you truly trust them to have the self control and integrity it will take to maintain a marriage when adversity comes?

The value and integrity of marriage has been compromised in our society. You see it in the movies, hear it in music lyrics, read it in print, and yes.... you may even see it in the church.

The truth of the matter is this; God did not create us to be alone. He created us for fellowship and relationships, first to Him and then to our spouse. This is why woman was created. In all of His beautiful creation, and He saw that is was good, He knew that man can not be alone. We were created in His image and He is a God of intimate relationship.

He created woman from the rib of man, flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone, so that we can truly be one. This does not mean that woman is below man, or even to be above man, but we are to be his helpmate. We have been created with intentional purpose.

Have you ever put something together and afterwards found that you have extra screws left? Yes? Assuming all of the tools and parts needed were there, nothing more, nothing less, and you are left with some extra screws in your hand, you can know that somewhere something is missing. Sure, you may have put whatever it is together, but it is not going to be sturdy or as strong as it could have been had everything been in place. This is the same in marriage. Can we truly reach our fullest potential if we are not rightly joined?

We make excuses. We deceive ourselves. We say, "but we love each other so what does it matter?" or "We are friends with benefits and this will not hurt me." My dear sister, it does matter and it will hurt you. It will destroy you.

After the newness of the relationship, after you have given him all that you have, when the relationship ends, he will take a piece of you with him. He will move onto someone else, you will move onto someone else and the cycle will continue. Before you realize it, you will find that you have given so many pieces of yourself away to others, that when you do meet that someone that is suppose to be your forever someone, you will have nothing left to give him. Chances are, you will not even recognize him or appreciate him, because you will be so scarred and blinded by your past, that your past will destroy your future.

You will not recognize him because he will not speak the same language as the men of your past. He will not offer to tarnish you with his touch that he is withholding for his wife. Because you have let other men "validate" you through sex, only to tear you down, you will not recognize the true intimacy that he offers. You will feel uncomfortable with it. Because he will not stroke your sexual ego. He will tell you that you are beautiful, but you won't be able to hear it, because when other men have said that to you, they were looking only at your outward appearance. This man will acknowledge  your physical beauty, but he will recognize and desire the true beauty that does not come from the outward appearance.

This man will want your heart and to give you his. But, such a gift can not be cradled with dirty hands.

I say this not to condemn you or to destroy hope. I say this so that we, as women, can really take an inventory and know where we are lacking. To know our motives and our desires. To fully understand our callings and learn what we must do to walk in the integrity that our calling and our namesake demands.

If you have been and/or are in a relationship where you have compromised, recognize it for what it is. Sin. You cannot sugar coat it or excuse it, it is what it is. It is death.

I encourage you, get your heart right with God. Submit yourself to Him and let Him complete the work that He has begun in you. This is the only way you will ever be able to experience the true intimacy that He desires you to have.

When you have done this, set yourself apart for God (not from God) and allowed Him to heal you, then when that righteous man enters your life, you will recognize him and he will give you his heart and be worthy to receive yours.


If you want true intimacy, then I submit to you... abstain from physical intimacy.

"...do not awaken love until the time is right." Song of Solomon 2:7

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Change Your Focus

It is too easy to think about our own pain. We can get lost in it if we allow ourselves.

All of the hurts and wrongs, we harbor deep inside. We fake smiles and spiritual talk.

We say we believe, but do we? What do we believe? Do we believe that He cares? Do we believe that He sees?

Do we trust? Can we just let go of it and give it to God? I mean, really give it to Him? Not take it back?

What is the cry of our hearts? He knows! He has made provision. He has made a way where there doesn't seem to be a way.

My sister, do not let the cares of this world steal your focus. Remain focused on Him, because He cares for you.

He holds the universe in His hands
He holds everyone on earth in His hands
He holds you and He knows you and He loves you
He has set you free
He is all you need
Let Him show you what true freedom is

Friday, May 10, 2013

Unwavering Faith

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that gives all men liberally and it shall be given him. But, let him ask in faith; not wavering. For he that waivers is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not a man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. - James 1:5-8

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. - James 1:14

You have heard the saying "be careful what you ask for because you just might get it."

My question is, what are we really asking for? We tend to go after what we want, even if we know it is not good for us.

James warns us that if we are drawn away by our own lust, then we will be enticed. Entertain a thought long enough and it will become an action. What are your thoughts?

Let's take inventory of our thoughts...

We know that God does not tempt us. He can not tempt us, there is no evil in Him. He tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us. To resist the devil, you must recognize that if the temptation does not come from God, it has to be coming from somewhere; our flesh and the devil.

We must not be double minded. We should not believe we will have what we ask if we are double minded. Do we pray, 'Lord deliver me from that chocolate,' yet, we keep staring at that chocolate cake? Are we really resisting that chocolate cake if we do not remove it from our sight? Of course not! Keep your focus on that cake and you will eat it.

Personally, I think that if we pray while focusing on something else, what we are really asking for is a loop hole. We are asking God to make an exception for us. But, that is another post.

Let's now apply this to relationships...

Are you in, or fresh out of, a relationship that you know is/was not good for you? Not only is/was it not good for you emotionally, but it is hindering you from walking in your calling.

We compromise, reason, rationalize and deny; to make what is wrong, right.

Sister, we have all been there.

I remember praying that God would break all ties with a certain man and the whole time I would stare at the phone trying to will him to call me. I would replay every word, action and memory of him in my mind. I was a miserable mess. You see, the reality is, I wasn't really asking God to deliver me, I was making excuses and asking God to go against His plan for my life and make an exception just this once. Thank God for His mercy and grace.

Could God deliver me from that bondage I allowed myself to be in? Yes! Did He? Yes! But I had to first set my resolve that I would not be double minded and if I truly wanted God to answer me and give me what I want (deliverance) then I had to adjust my sight.

I had to break connections (resist) and not waiver (faith) and the receive (His peace) and walk it out (see post Mr. Dangerous).

You see, sometimes when we know better, our prayers just become empty words; noise. We have no faith in our expression. We ask and we don't receive, because what we ask for is not God's will for us.

God wills for us to be free. Not to be slaves to our emotions or entangled with unholy relationships.

As a mother, I delight in giving my children good gifts. But, there are some things they ask for that I would not give them because it would harm them, or they aren't  ready for it, yet. How much greater is our Father God as a parent than we are? Much greater!

The challenge today is to take inventory of our thoughts and motives.

Rather than cling to a dead man (wrong relationships) cling to life!

He is the healer and comforter. Let Him be your soothing balm, in Him you will find strength. Let go of what keeps you in emotional bondage. I am not saying it will be easy, but it is possible.

You have been created with a purpose. Submit yourself to Jesus and watch His marvelous works unfold before you.

Be free and stay free!


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Set Yourself Apart

And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name, to take away our reproach. - Isaiah 4:1

...if you will not believe, surely you shall not be established. - Isaiah 7:9

This is for the women of God, called by the Spirit, but living in the flesh. To reveal the battle of the spirit and the carnal.

Do you not know that you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people, that you show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of the darkness into His marvelous light? (1 Peter 2:9)

In time past we were not a people, but are now the people of God; which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy. Beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul. (1 Peter 2: 10-11)

Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. Don't be conformed to this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

Don't love the world, neither the things that are in this world. If any man (woman) love the world, the love of the Father is not in him (her). For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. The world will pass away and of it's lust, but who does the will of God will abide forever. (1 John 2:15-17)

This whole post could be written straight from the Word of God, it is quite clear and there is no mincing of words. But, I am going to break it down for you, as it is broken down for me.

Sometimes, we have a tendency to take a verse from the Bible and use it for our purpose. We try to make it fit for our circumstance or our state of mind. It is for the food for our souls. For nourishment for our souls, we must apply the Word in whole, not in part. Even our natural bodies can not be sustained on sugar alone; we must also eat our veggies. Do you hear what I am saying?

My sisters, if we are sisters in Christ, we must stop making excuses!

We belong to Christ. We were redeemed with a price. We are eternal souls. We must decide if we are to live eternally in life or death. The choices we make today will decide our tomorrow.

Do you need me to break it down more?

Get out of that man's bed!

You do not need a man to validate you when it was Jesus who justified you. Do you not know who you are and who you belong to? Have you forgotten? Do you not know who watches over you, sings over you, dances around you, cares for you, provides for you and will never leave you?  

It is not that man you open your legs for! It is He who created you, called you, died for you and rose again so that you can be called daughter of God.

This is not easy to swallow, medicine never is. But, if you allow Him, He will deliver you heal you.

You carry hurts. These hurts have distorted your vision. It does not allow you to see yourself as the precious treasure that you are. It has effected your self esteem and your self image.

How many relationships must you go through and how many heartaches must you endure before you realize that you are His beloved and you are called to come up higher? Let Him wash you clean. Ask for and receive His forgiveness and then walk in His truth.

Jesus told the woman to go get her husband. She said she had no husband. He said she was right, for she had many and the one she was with is not her husband. (see John 4:16-18)

When you lay with a man you make a covenant with him. You have been in the world too long and that is why you do not see this. You mistake lust for love. A covenant is not to be broken. Only death can break that covenant. Yet, you have been tricked into making covenant with one man after another and with each breech, you walk away with less of yourself.

God desire you to be whole. Even now.

Precious one, give it to Jesus. Turn back to Him, for He is the true Lover. I know it is hard to be alone. I know it can be lonely. But, you will see, if you will consecrate yourself to Him, He will heal you and He will bring the right man, at the right time, into your life and he will not defile you. He will become one with you, before God. In this is a blessing and He will honor your relationship.

I love you, but He loves you even more. His mercies are new every morning. Let this be a new day for you.

Assignment: Break all ties with men that you have given yourself to. Recommit yourself to Jesus.

Prayer: I confess my sexual relations outside of marriage as sin. Father, I ask for and receive your forgiveness. Protect me from temptations and traps. Renew my heart and spirit. Thank You for Your love and mercies. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit so I can have power to resist the temptations of my flesh and conform me into the image of Your Son. It is in His name, the name of Jesus, I pray.

 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Dangerous Man

I bet when you read the title to this post you thought it was going to be about a man who was blatantly dangerous, with a wicked temper and is violent? Of course, a man like that is dangerous, but I am referring to a more dangerous man; the sweet Mr. Wonderful.

Mr. Wonderful comes in and sweeps you off your feet. He is fine; eye candy for you. His words are smooth and he has taken such an interest in you. He is charming. He is hard working, so fun, funny, confident, sexy, cares for the people in his life (you know this because he has told you) and he says he has fallen in love with you.

You can hardly believe it. You feel wonderful when you are with him. You feel beautiful, desired and validated. You open yourself up to him. You have given him your trust and your heart.

He doesn't want to be without you. You find yourself spending all of your free time together and when you aren't together you are constantly texting each other and calling each other. He has become number one in your life. You find yourself not minding when you change your plans to be with him. You even begin to stop seeing your friends and family to be with him. You begin to stop doing the things that you once enjoyed, this is your sacrifice to your relationship and you do it willingly.

Suddenly you become a different person. You are no longer you and the people who know you do not even recognize you anymore. You may even feel a sting of offense when your friends suggest that something is not quite right here. You wish your friends could see how wonderful he is, but they haven't been able to meet him, because he has such plans for you, there is never an opportune time for them to meet him.

As your relationship progresses, your communications with your friends and family become almost non-existent. You do miss them and when you voice this to Mr Wonderful he says that "They should understand that you are in a relationship now." What he says does make sense, a little, but still...

You begin to see red flags, but you quickly dismiss them, because you hold onto the way he made you feel. You don't seem to see that what you thought you had is no longer there. You dismiss the warning signs. After all, he is just busy, he is tired, he fell asleep early and didn't hear the phone ring, he can't go out with you because he has things to do...

You begin to feel insecure in the relationship. You don't want to believe the worse, but still you can't shake the foreboding. You ask him if everything is OK, he is quite offended that you just don't understand him. You try to talk, but he talks louder and seems to have more to say. You look at him and you do not see the man that you thought he was. He is a stranger to you now.

But, the sex is great. Oh, the way he holds you makes you feel so good. He looks at you and tells you he loves you and you believe him, because you want to. After a while, the sex is not even that good anymore. What you once thought was making love is now leaving you feel empty.

You have reached the point where you are no longer thinking clearly. You are ashamed because you thought you were better than this. Your thoughts have become obsessed, because rather than face reality, you cling to the fantasy of who you wanted him to be.

You wish you were stronger so that you could walk away, you wish things could go back to the way they were. You question where you went wrong, but you know deep inside the problem with him is not you.

My dear, sweet, sister, does this sound familiar?

Are you in a relationship like this now? Are you just coming out of a relationship like this? Are you still wounded from Mr Wonderful? Are you still holding onto something that you know you should let go of?

Mr. Wonderful is a dangerous man. He is poison to you. Let him go!

I know this easier said than done. Trust me, my sister, I know the feelings of a broken heart. But, it can be done, you can walk away, you can heal and the pieces of your heart can be put back together. The journey to healing may be painful, but in the end it will be worth it. You are worth it.

There are steps you must take to this healing and I encourage you to determine in your heart that you will do this. I also encourage you to surround yourself with people who care about you to help you through this. Friends that you can turn to when you have those moments of weakness that will not judge you, but will love you through the storm of emotions.

First things first:
  • Throw away all of the reminders. Go through your house and collect all of his things, every love note, picture, card, gift, clothes, everything and throw it in a box and then throw it away. You must rid yourself of everything that will remind you of him in the future.
  • Delete all of his text and emails. Delete his phone number. Block his number so that he can not contact you, EVER.
  • Tell your friends that it is over and you do not want them to ever mention his name
  • Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT contact him. You, for sure, will have moments that you want to hear his voice, because at first he is still on that imaginary pedestal, RESIST the temptation. You do not need to contact him to tell him you will no longer be contacting him, trust me, he will figure it out. You do not need to tell him to never contact you again, because you have already blocked him.
Next:
  • Surround yourself with people who care about you
  • Do the things that you once enjoyed
  • Begin a new hobby
  • Get outside!
Don't:
  • Numb your pain with alcohol or drugs or any other unhealthy behavior
  • Watch "chic flicks"
  • Listen to mainstream love songs
  • Date. Give yourself time to heal
  • Dwell on thoughts of him
Do:
  • Get rest
  • Eat healthy
  • Exercise, it releases the endorphins that will help you to feel better
  • Develop back up thoughts to think about when he enters your mind
  • Remind yourself that you are worth so much more

You will get through this. Trust me. Do not try to go it alone.

MOST IMPORTANT:

Turn to Jesus, my friend. He cares for you. He understands. Do not be afraid to take this to Him. Beloved, Mr Wonderful was not the only one to blame, you also partook of things that as a daughter of a King you should not have. Sexual relations with this man has caused a soul tie and it must be broken. How do we break a soul tie? First, we have to admit that there is one.

I know our culture is OK with sex outside of marriage. This way of thinking, sadly, is even in the church. We rationalize that when two people love each other and are committed to each other and are in an exclusive relationship, then "making love" is OK. Beloved, there is a reason why this is not OK in the sight of the Lord. It is for our protection.

No matter how we sugar coat it, sex outside of marriage is fornication and fornicators do not inherit eternal life.

If you have had sex with this man, go to God, who is faithful and just to forgive us and confess it as sin. Then leave it there. Beloved, He wants your healing more than you do. He alone is the one who can heal you and His healing is complete. There is no wholeness without the healing of our Savior.

Spend time in His presence.

Isn't it odd that when we meet someone and fall in love that we find it so easy to spend all of our time with him? When we aren't with him physically, then we are with him emotionally and in our thoughts. Should we offer anything less to the One who loves us most? If we claim to love Jesus, then we must surrender our hearts and our bodies to Him. His love never fails.

Psalm 91 says "He (she) that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God; in Him will I trust."

I am not suggesting that this will be easy. But I am saying, that when you have come through this, you will be stronger; if your strength is in Jesus.

Do not look at your experience with Mr. Wonderful as a waste. Though it would have been better if you had not had to go through that, but you did. So look at it as a learning experience and you are better for it.

Prayer: Jesus, thank you for your unfailing love and your help in our time of need. Thank you for your healing and your forgiveness. I consecrate myself to you and I ask that you search those secret places in me and shine your light of truth. Heal me and create in me a new heart and renew my spirit. Shield me from the enemy. Thank you, Jesus, for all that you have done and all that you continue to do. I trust you to heal me.