Is it a loss or is it growth?

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4.

I think of her story often, especially when I am faced with change. Each time I read her story God shows me something new. His word is like that. His word is alive and will meet you at your point of need.

This past year has been a trying year for me; a real test of faith. At times it was as though I were on an emotional roller coaster. I would find myself at the peak of a high and think I have arrived, only to be plummeted down the next slope. Up and down. Seriously, I do not know how people survive life without knowing Jesus.

Do you ever feel that way?  Just as you arrive to the peak of the mountain you are staring at the ground floor again? I don't know about you, but I am going to be real honest here, there were moments where I really questioned if I would have the strength to start all over again. And to be even more real, if it weren't for the grace of God and His love for me, I would have probably just sat down and stared into oblivion and wish it all to be over. Doesn't sound very spiritual, does it? I am just being real.

This is when I was reminded of the Shunammite woman. I can imagine her voice, her heart, her grief, when she said to Elisha,  "Did I desire a son? Did I not say 'do not deceive me?"

I have said things very similar to God. It is OK for me to share this with you, because He knows anyway. My moaning's to God sounded something like this, "Why would you give this to me, just to take it away? I am tired of starting over! It is not fair! When will it be my turn? How much more do I have to take?!"

The thing about pity parties is no one shows up. It is usually a party of one. Even when you felt you did everything right, it wasn't your fault, you may still find yourself at the bottom of the roller coaster, scratching your head and wondering what just happened. Perhaps it is a relationship gone bad, a loss of a job, loss of home, health issues, or any other curve ball that has been thrown at you.

Let us remember, trials will come. Things do happen, to all of us. Not everyone we want in our lives will want to stay there. There will be times you will be misunderstood, harshly judged, and wrongly accused. It happens to all of us. But this does not have to be the end of us. The dream He gave you, He hasn't taken it back. The gifts He gave you, He hasn't taken that back either. Just because it has not come to pass the way you thought it would does not mean it will not come to pass.

James 1 says, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave in the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man and unstable in all his ways.

God does, and will, open doors. We still have to do our part and walk through them. He will also close doors and we will have to choose to trust Him and let that door close.

My friend, I write this to encourage you. Though the plans you laid, have fallen, trust the Lord. His ways are perfect. Trust Him when He says your steps are ordered by Him. Listen for His voice. You will not always see a big flashing sign pointing you in the direction you should go. You may not even get the memo warning you change is coming and it may happen abruptly. But what you can count on and trust, is His Spirit to lead you.

So when your foundation has been shaken, when all you thought you had gained has been stripped away from you, in that moment of decision, choose to believe. Shut the pity party down. Ask God to search your heart and let this time have its perfect work, so what is produced from this will bring forth a harvest. Be like the Shunammite woman, she did not assemble a funeral, she went right to the source. Take it to Jesus, my friend.

If you walk in forgiveness, maintain a teachable spirit, and choose love; you will see this is not a season of loss, but of growth.

                               Be Free & Stay Free

Dirty Mirrors

Hand a little girl a mirror after telling her how beautiful she is and she will see a princess peering at her through her own reflection. Years later, hand her a mirror and she may see something entirely different. What she sees in the present moment is a reflection of her past.

Our mental ability to recreate images from the past enables us to reinterpret them. If the image is distorted, our "view" will be distorted. Our reality is based on our own perception and it will be as looking into a carnival mirror if our perception is not based on Gods truth.

Most of us remember the childhood story of The Jungle Book, about a young boy, Mowgli, who was raised by wolves in the Indian Jungle. Through a series of events, Mowgli stumbles into a human village and is adopted by a human family. But, he has a hard time adapting to the "human life." Being raised by wolves, he did not see himself as a human boy, he saw himself as a wolf. He was a human that acted like a wolf. Living with the wolves did not change who he was, it changed who he thought he was.

Do you know who you are, or are you like Mowgli? Has the past, and/or your present circumstance, distorted your view of who you really are? Call a child a wolf long enough and he will begin to believe it and act like a wolf.


Dust your mirror off and shower yourself in His Word. If you want to know who you really are, you must know He is and who you are in Him.  

You are so much more than what the human eye and mind can understand. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made; created with a purpose.

Praise Him, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are His works. Psalm 139:14

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. Isaiah 43:1

Have you fallen into agreement with the lies that have been spoken over you? Perhaps you have even spoken those lies yourself? The power of life and death is in our words. Begin to speak His truth.

Separate yourself from who/what tears you down. It is OK to set boundaries. It is OK to love someone from a distance. Surround yourself with people who care about you and saturate yourself in His word. Release those that have hurt you, walk in forgiveness. I know this is not always easy, but it is for your good. Forgiveness does not right a wrong, but it will free you from the bondage that holds you .

You were created for so much more. Get out of the mud and let Him break the chains that keep you bound. Only through Him will you find healing. Only in Him will you find yourself. There is no substitution.

So, when those thoughts come in, when the lies try to invade, hold it up to the truth of His Word. Begin to say, "Thus say the Lord...."

Then when you look in the mirror, you will not see the distorted image as in a carnival, you will see Him. You will see His reflection in you and you will marvel how beautiful is His creation and His creation is you.

You are His beloved.

Be Free & Stay Free

Appointment at the Well

It is easier to free fall when you know you have a safety net. It's about trust; trusting that God has you in the palm of His hand. Believing that even though you feel you are free falling, you are actually being elevated to a better place that will position you for the purpose that He has for you.

It is about faith in the perfection of His love and learning to rest your weakness in His strength. It's about resisting the impulse to flail your arms to grasp what is closest to keep you from the exhilarating fall and letting go of everything that you have made an idol. You will never be complete when you cling to your self-made safety net, because that net becomes a hard shell that will block revelation. It will cover your spiritual ears and restrict you from hearing His whisper that says, "Let go, I have you."

I went to the well to draw water. I always go in the afternoon; because in my shame, I don't want to go when the other women are there. They mock me. Even in their silence I can feel their scorn and judgment. Do they really think I chose this kind of life?

They don't know, or understand, where I have been. They do not know that I would have given anything for their life; in fact, I have, I gave everything. Now I am just empty, depleted, and left with nothing more to give. Everything has been taken, stolen. I reach my hand out, only to be pushed away. I open my arms, only to be shunned. I give my heart and my body, only to be rejected.

I don't want to see anyone, or face anyone, because if they look in my eyes they may see me. If they look in my face they will see my shame, regret, anger, fear, sadness, despair, hopelessness and dirt. Yes, their judgment may be correct, but it still hurts.

There is a Man there. He is sitting quietly and peacefully. I can't say that He is particularly attractive, but there is something about Him that I am drawn to. He has something different.

He ask me to give Him a drink. Why would He ask me? There are better women than me. He must not know me. I am not one of His kind. If He knew who I was He would not even acknowledge me. He would see me like everyone else does and He would be right in doing so. "Why do you ask me for a drink?" I ask Him.

He looks right in me and tells me if I knew the gift of God, and who He was, I would ask Him for a drink and He would give me living water. I don't understand, but I feel there is truth in what He said. I want to ask Him to give me that water, but I am afraid. If I talk I will expose myself and He will leave, just like everyone else.

But, there is something about Him. It is as if He see's me, I mean really see's me; yet He is still there. He makes no move to leave. He is offering me something and He is waiting for me to ask. I hesitate and try to change the subject. I feel naked, as if He can see in me, through me. I feel naked, but not ashamed.

He is not moved. He is not offended. He is patient. He speaks of a fountain of water that gives everlasting life. I want it! I want to feel alive. I want to breathe.

My heart sinks when He tells me to go call my husband to come. I can say nothing but that I have no husband. He smiles. "You have spoken well," He said. Then He began to tell me about me. I feel warmth and love in His words and His voice. He is bathing me in a warm shower of His love. I feel the burden lifted off my shoulders. I feel the mire of shame, regret, filth and sin fall off me.

I tell Him it is as if God Himself were speaking to me, because only God could know such things, secret things.

With His eyes He smiles again and says, "I who speak to you am He."

God revealed Himself to me. He took time to speak to me, touch me and He didn't cringe, He wasn't disgusted or disappointed. He was there for me. Waiting for me.  

I cannot contain the joy I am feeling. This is the first time I felt clean, free. I have to tell someone. I have to tell everyone.

God came down and He spoke with me. He knew me and loved me anyway. He wrapped His love around me. He removed my shame and filth and replaced it with love and acceptance.

Now, I know He is God and He is no respecter of persons. But, I have to say, that moment, that time with Him, I felt like I was all that mattered to Him. I felt loved.

John 4:7-29

Be Free & Stay Free

Perfect Love

Some of us have been in positions, a newness of a relationship, where everything seems to come up roses. You know what I mean, the sun rises and sets on your new Amor, you are texting and calling each other constantly, each time you hear each others voice it is like the dawn of a crisp new day. You begin to romanticize and plan in your imagination your future together; the perfect future. At last, your fairytale romance has come. You anticipate and replay every conversation, every look, every move, you take in every nuance.  Everything fits. Everything is perfect.


The closer you get, the more you reveal yourself. The more comfortable you become, the less comfortable you are, because you begin to over analyze everything, you begin to think, "Did I say too much?" or "Are we moving too fast?" or "What if he/she doesn't feel the same way?"

When the newness has passed and you begin to settle in, finding the rhythm of your relationship. You feel uncomfortable, because you aren't talking as much as you to, or he/she didn't text you their every move like they used to, or they didn't text you a good morning within 10 minutes of being awake. Your insecurity begins to show like an oversized slip and it is not very attractive. So, instead of relaxing and trusting, you panic. You claw at air, fight invisible battles and imaginary enemies. Your mind races, your heart sinks, you cry, you reason and you just don't understand why he/she doesn't love you.

I submit  that you do not know what love is. Not real love. You may know the feeling of falling in love, you may have an idea of what love should be. Your love is based on feeling and emotions.

If you could relate to what I wrote above, then brace yourself, because this is a lesson on love. When this sinks into your spirit, you will begin to relax and just let love.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

What does this mean? Now, I am not a fan of country music, but there is an old song that says, "looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces..."

Love is not impatient, envious, boastful, proud, rude, or selfish. So, if you are feeling these things it is time to check yourself. Check your heart and check your motives.

When you understand the love of Christ towards you, then you will know how to love. You will understand that the actions and acceptance of others does not sway Gods affections for you. It does not change who you are.

You will never find comfort in fear. You will never find peace in the fear of being rejected, abandoned, or by being jealous, controlling and consuming.

When you can take that breath and say, God knows best, He loves me beyond measure and He knows, nothing catches Him by surprise and I will trust Him, because I know that all things will work together for my good; then you will know love.

When you are willing to let go of control and trust God, He will reveal the truth to you and the truth will set you free. Because right now you only see things in part, but He sees the big picture.

We were created for relationship; relationship with Him. This relationship MUST come first. When you have cultivated the intimate relationship with the Father, you will know Him and in knowing Him, you will trust Him and in trusting Him, you will know that He loves you perfectly and that you do not have to conjure up any relationship or emotion to be made whole, because you are whole in Him.


When you have been made perfect in love, then you will recognize a healthy relationship. You will know how to nurture, not suffocate; how to build and not tear down; and how to endure, grow, cherish, protect, give and love without fear. The measure of your love will not be based on what you receive from anyone else, you will love freely and passionately. You will not make demands. Because this is what the love of the Father has done for you. And it is in Him and only in Him will you find you.



Be Free & Stay Free

Elephant in Your Living Room

A man was walking the grounds of a circus, observing the animals. As he approached the elephants he was confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by a single rope tied to their leg. Obviously the elephants could break the rope and walk away, but oddly, they did not.

He motioned to a trainer nearby and asked him why such a magnificent and strong creature made no attempt to break away? How could it be that such a small rope could restrain such a large and strong creature?

 “When they are young we use a similar size rope to tie them and because they are small they cannot break away. As they grow, they are conditioned to think that the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” The trainer answered.

The man was amazed! Imagine, the elephant could break free at any time, but because he believed that he could not, he didn’t even try. The elephant was stuck right there, in captivity.

I wonder, if the man had cut the rope, would the elephant walk away to freedom? If he had cut the rope at the stake, but left it on the elephant’s ankles, would the elephant still believe that he was bound to the stake? Or, what if he cut the rope from his ankles? Would the elephant then know he was free? Or would he stay, because it is what he knows? Would he stay because “this is the way it has always been”?

How many of us are like that elephant?

How many are held captive to the ropes of the past?

How many have learned to adapt to the ropes; perhaps even embraced the ropes?

Sure does sound silly, doesn’t it? Imagine the tragic comedy it is when we choose to hold on to the things that keep us so bound up, rather than walk in complete freedom.

There is a phenomenon called Stockholm syndrome. It is a strong emotional tie that is formed between two people where one abuses, threatens, harasses, intimidates, or beats the other. It is suggested that the bonding is the victims coping mechanism, in response to the trauma of being a victim.

As strange as it seems that a majestic creature like the elephant stays chained to a small rope, it is even stranger that a victim should form a bond with a person (or thing/addiction/mind-set) who has taken their freedom away and abused them. Yet, this is what happens, in the spiritual.

We begin to identify with the chains of bondage because we do not know our identity.

We identify to labels. Don’t believe me, ask someone who they are and they will probably tell you their job title; you know, the one word title that describes what we do (or where we have been).

There is ONE who can cut those ropes of bondage from you and give you freedom.

John 8:36 says, “Therefore if the Son (Jesus) makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

I put emphases on the “if” because it is important that you understand something. It IS Gods will that you be free. He has made all provision for your freedom, through His Son, Jesus. His gift of salvation is free. He will never force it on you. He will also never deny you should you choose to accept the free gift of salvation, freedom. When you accept His Son, you have accepted all that comes with being an heir.

2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”

What does this mean?

I am going to break this down for you in very plain language.

If you have Christ, you are no longer a victim! You are more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthen you. You are to be conformed into His image, you are dead to your past and you are alive in Christ who gives you the hope and the promise of eternal life. You have received forgiveness and you are to offer forgiveness to those who have wronged you, abused you, hurt you and to yourself. Unforgiveness will keep you tied to your past and to your old mindsets. You are no longer a whore hopping from bed to bed, relationship to relationship, you are sanctified, you are pure and you are to offer yourself up as a living sacrifice to the One who has set you free. You are no longer an addict, an alcoholic, an angry person, an inferior person, a victim, an abuser, a fearful person, a selfish person or a self-preserved person.  You are not a fortress within yourself.

Your freedom has been purchased at a very high cost. You are to no longer play in the pig pen with the pigs, you are washed clean with the blood of Jesus. Your future is secure and you are to break ties with the past. You cannot hold onto the past while looking to the future.

That tie that held you for so long is no longer there. That phantom feeling you get of the rope on your ankles is a lie and you must recognize that.

I am not suggesting that this is always easy, because sure enough there will be times when it seems that all hell will break loose on you. But, free people always have a choice. You can choose to believe the lie and risk becoming bound again, or you can choose to believe Gods promise.

Jesus said if you abide in His Word, you are His disciples and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Whoever commits sin is a slave of sin and a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever.

Many of us have had painful past. Many of us have been victims of people and/or circumstance that was beyond our control. But that is not what defines us. The past is not where we find our identity. Our identity is found in Jesus.

What is it that holds you back? What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to forgive?

Confession and repentance is the first step to freedom. Repentance means to no longer return to the rope (sin) that has held you. You turn away from it. You cling to Jesus. You allow Him to bring healing. You do not self-medicate with un-holy relationships or addictions. To many this may seem impossible, to step out of the comfort zone and break old habits, but Jesus said that what is impossible for man is possible with God.

As a free person, you have a choice. You can choose to believe Him or not to believe Him.

God is faithful, He cares for you and He loves you. There is nothing that can separate you from His love. He wants you to acknowledge and walk in the freedom that He has given you. He wants this more than you.

Are you weary? Are you tired of the merry-go-round of emotions? God says come up here. Learn to see through His eyes.

Kick that elephant out of your living room and divorce your past. You have no more relationship with your past. You are a new creation. A holy nation, a royal priesthood, an heir with Christ, a child of the Most High God. Walk in it!

Be Free & Stay Free

You Are What You Eat

Wallow with the pigs and you will get dirty!

If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 1 John 1:6

In these last days it is important that we wear the full armor of God and we spend time in His presence. We must learn to seek Him. We must purpose to be in His presence. It is only through Him are we able to have balance and recognize the peace that He gives us.

There are so many things and people that want to steal our peace. If we are not careful, we allow the distractions to enter and steal our peace. There is no joy if there is no peace.

I am calling you to take inventory.

• What are your thoughts? What is occupying your thoughts?
• Who are you spending time with? Does the relationship edify?
• Who have you allowed into your inner circle?
• Do you know the difference between "friends" and ministry?
• Who do you turn to in your time of distress?
• Are you surrounded by confusion and chaos?
• Do you know how to set boundaries? 

There are times in our lives that we experience loss, grief, sadness...

Anyone who has entered that dark night of the soul can attest to the warfare. This will bring us face to face with ourselves and hopefully to our knees before the throne of God. This is when we must cling even tighter to the promise of God. Though we may feel forsaken during this trial of faith, we must remember He said He will never forsake us. This is the time to press in, fight those distractions, close the rest of the world out and get before Jesus.

In Acts 9 (click here to read) we learn about a woman who died and they called Peter to come to them. The woman was a disciple and I am sure that they called Peter to come mourn with them. They may not have expected what happened next. Peter arrives on the scene, the women are mourning. They are showing him the garments that she made while she was with them. They were speaking of her in past terms. Understandable, right? We do that at funerals, we display the pictures and talk about all they have done while they were alive. We give them a memorial. Memorials are for the dead.

What did Peter do? Did he sit down with the mourners and grieve and start recalling her life? Did he join the party for the dead? No, he put them out of the room, he shut them out! Then he knelt and prayed and turned to the body and said, "Tabitha, arise." She then opened her eyes and saw Peter and sat up, then Peter took her by the hand and she stood up.

Had Peter joined the grieving party of the mourners she would not have been presented alive. She would have been buried.

Take note of what Peter did. He put the mourners out of the room, closed the door and spoke life.

If you are surrounded by nay sayers, people of unbelief, complainers, gossips, negativity, then you will become just like them. If you allow your thoughts to be constantly bombarded with the things that are contrary to Gods Word and His promise, then you will have unbelief and there is no faith in unbelief. There is no power in unbelief.

We would have to leave this world to be completely rid of all the negativity, but since we are in this world, even though we are not of this world, we must guard our hearts and take care in choosing who we allow into our inner circle.

As believers we are called to be a witness of His glory. We must always point to Christ. We can not fall into agreement with the world. Do NOT get sucked in! Choose wisely who you permit to speak into your life.

You heard the saying, you are what you eat. Keep feeding your mind with poison of defeat and that is what you will become. As followers of Christ we are more than conquerors. We are not called to be a defeated nation, but a Holy Nation. His nation does not add validity to what the world believes.

If you find yourself in a state of confusion, depression, heaviness; take inventory.

Healing, peace, joy and order comes from Him and Him alone. You will not find it in any other substitute. Close the doors to the mourners or you will be attending your own funeral. What good will you be to the commission if you yourself are buried?

Quit seeking for answers elsewhere. Get into your closet and seek Him. Put your armor on daily and do not let anything or anyone steal your peace.

Saturate yourself with His word, surround yourself with His people.




Be Free & Stay Free

When Church Hurts

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice

James 3:16

 Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

 

I open this post with three verses that we should read and take to heart.

 

Many people have fallen away from fellowship with other believers because of an offense. Quite possibly they left the church because their feelings got hurt, they were offended. As followers of Christ we know the world will hate us, because the world hated Jesus. It would seem the world has infiltrated the church and before we point fingers, we must ask ourselves; “Am I part of the problem?” Are we agents of reconciliation or are we sewing discord?

 

There is a reason we are not to forsake the gathering of the saints and we are to come together in fellowship. We need each other for support. We cannot stand alone. Fellowship with other believers strengthen us, encourages us and holds us accountable. Without this, we are vulnerable to the world. Remember, we are in this world, not of this world.

 

Some wounds are real and I do not want to ignore this, but often breaking of fellowship happens because of something petty. Rather than confront the person who has offended, in love, (see Matthew 18:15-17) some choose to walk away and say the church is full of hypocrites and I will never go back into that place. Then they brood over the offense and it becomes poison; not only to themselves, but to anyone who listens while they air the offense. This causes division.

 

I would have to wonder who we are really following. Are we following man or are we following God? Yes, hurts are real; Jesus knows this and He can heal the hurt. Man will let you down, Jesus never will. I am not suggesting that you stay where you are not welcome. I am suggesting to stay within the body that loves and follows Christ. You need the body and the body needs you. Do not retreat, do not hide.

 

The days are drawing short and His return is close. Be ready.

 

Be Free & Stay Free

 

Not all that glitters is gold