Conversation With My Friend

"I'm tired." She said, tears welling up in her eyes, as she took another sip of her coffee.

We sat at the table in silence; she staring into her coffee and me looking at her. I didn't know what to say to her, I prayed for God to give me words of comfort for her, but nothing came. Maybe she just needs me to listen.  

After a long pause, she took another sip of her coffee, put her cup down and looked me in the eye. I could see the traces of sleepless nights on her face. The circles under eyes made her look older than she was and the puffiness told me she had been crying.

"Why can't I get it right? Why do people always leave me? Am I that unlovable?" She looked away, gazed out the window and I could see a new tear forming at the corner of her eye. "I give it my all, I try to be the perfect person. No matter what I do it is just never enough."

I have known her for a long time. She came from a broken home, abandoned by her father. She married at a young age to an abusive husband, who eventually left her and her children. After two failed marriages, a couple failed relationships, a most recent heartbreak, and years of struggle, my friend sat in front of me and confessed she can no longer go on. "Something has got to give!" She said in a barely audible whisper.

My friend didn't see herself as others saw her. She always saw herself as someone who is... less than. But, what I saw was a strong woman. A beautiful, compassionate, woman. She always has a smile on her face, she loved extravagantly, anyone who came into contact with her became an instant friend. She was beautiful on the inside and out. Everyone noticed her. This always surprised me when she felt as though she were invisible.

I wanted to tell her it is not that she is unworthy, she just chooses unworthy people to give her heart to. I know she does this because she does not see her own worth and what a treasure she really is.

I take her by the hand and I look into her eyes, her beautiful sad eyes. I can feel my own heart breaking for her.

"Don't you ever for a minute think you are unworthy." I firmly tell her. "You are so precious to Him, you are a treasure in His hands. Yes, others have left you and hurt you. But, my dear friend, He will never leave you. He is not angry with you. He has a plan and a purpose for you. Your vision has been clouded, you have not been able to hear Him because of the voices in your own head, but this does not mean He is not near. He has seen everything that has been done to you, and He has seen everything you have done. But, He forgives you, He loves you, and He wants you to give your burdens to Him. He wants you to trust Him with your cares, your anxieties, and your dreams."

I want to tell her to take her eyes off people and focus on Him, because I know her wounds go so much deeper. Only He can touch the depth of her wounded soul and bring the healing she cries out for. But I also know it will require her to completely trust Him and to be vulnerable again. Her trust has been shattered so many times from trusting the wrong people, I wonder if she will even be able to open up and receive His healing for her.

Our conversation shifts to the surface, because this is where she feels comfortable. We talk about our jobs, the weather, the children, anything and everything to not have to talk anymore about the discomfort and pain she is feeling. Both of us are only half way in the conversation, going through the motions of not addressing the obvious need she has.

Thirty minutes later I am watching her through my rear mirror as she drives off. I sit in my car, silent, thinking about the conversation with my friend. And I pray for her. I pray for God to reveal Himself to her and to show her who she is in Him. I pray the motions of joy she portrays to the outside world become real joy. I pray  for her deliverance and that she would turn away from anyone who is not Gods best for her. May she be so focused in the revelation of His love for her, that she will never settle for anyone or anything that is less. Oh, that she would come to the understanding her past is not her future. She is accepted by the true lover of her soul.

Yes, my friend, you are beautiful. You are beautiful because you belong to Him. We live in a fallen world filled with broken people. It was never His plan for us to be hurt, abused, overlooked, rejected. But it happens, sometimes by other people and sometimes through our own choices. The consequence can feel unbearable and suffocating, but it does not have to be the death of us.

Oh, my broken friend, lay yourself at His feet. He will lift you up and in His arms you are safe.

Be Free & Stay Free

Soulish Love

Beware of soulish love. It is not love. It is carnal and of the flesh. It becomes an idol and will seek to exalt itself over God. It is based on "emotions" and "feelings." When the "feelings" of love have run it's course, it will leave you empty. In the end it will destroy you.

Love deposits, it does not take. Love does not make demands. Love is gentle, it does not consume. Love is free and you do not have to fight to keep it. No man (or woman) is your savior.


You may be in a soulish love relationship if:



you are fearful of losing the person
you cannot be honest about your feelings
you feel controlled, or seek to control
you feel shame
you compromise integrity and purity
it is more about them (or you) than it is about honoring God
forgiveness is not easily offered or accepted
after the passion ran it's course, there is no other foundation




Do NOT hold onto this person. Let them go! Repent and ask God to forgive you for your part in creating this relationship/tie. Then seek healing and understanding.

In His love there is no fear. There is never shame, pressure, or accusation. The imperfect you is always accepted in His perfect love.


Be Free & Stay Free

Holding Onto the Promise

John 10:10 warns us that the thief comes to steal, kill and to destroy.  Jesus says He has come so we may have life and have it more abundantly. We must keep watch, because the enemy of our soul wants to do more than wound us, he wants to annihilate us. He is after the seed!

You see, it is a very real and personal battle. The devil roams around like a roaring lion to seek who he can devour. How does a lion hunt prey? He will go after the stragglers, the isolated ones, the weak ones, and the ones who are not aware that he is lurking just behind the bushes. The devil is not all knowing, he cannot read your mind, but he is a good student. He has watched you from day one. He knows what buttons to push. He knows what/who is closest to you and he will use it. He knows the areas you are weak in and he knows your strengths and he will use it against you. 

The devil is a supplanter. He will attempt to snatch up every seed the Lord has planted.

Luke 8:5-8 tells us the parable of the sower and the different kinds of soil.

A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell by the wayside; and it was trampled down, and the birds of the air devoured it. Some fell on rock; and as soon as it sprang up, it withered away because it lacked moisture. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up with it and choked it. But others fell on good ground, sprang up, and yielded a crop a hundredfold.

Hear me... WE MUST GUARD THE SEED!

We can not do this on our own. Know this. If you try to do this on your own, you will fail. You need the power of His Spirit. You are not wrestling flesh and blood. The Amplified describes it as this:

Ephesians 6:12
For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.

How do we guard the seed? By taking every thought captive, learn to discern the voice of your thoughts. Do not assume every thought is your own. Do not assume every thought is truth. Do not even trust your own eye sight, learn to walk by faith, because the devil is also the master of parlor tricks.

[ Meditate on These Things ] Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Stay close to Him and remain in fellowship with His people. Surround yourself with those who will speak truth into your life and situation. Know His Word, know His voice, and know His promise for you.

Be Free & Stay Free

Love Covers a Multitude of Sins

What does it mean love covers a multitude of sins? 1 Peter 4:8

Take a minute and read Genesis 9:21-27

James 5 tells us to confess our sins to one another so that we may be healed.  Our enemy loves secrets. These secrets (unconfessed sins) keep us in darkness. We cannot truly walk in freedom when we are afraid our sin will find us out. These "secrets" invite fear into our lives. We monitor what we say, we fall under conviction, and we begin to separate ourselves. We cannot have true fellowship with Christ or each other when we are trying to cover our tracks.

What is the remedy? Confession, that leads to repentance.

We know Jesus is faithful and He forgives our sin. Sometimes sin can leave a stronghold. We struggle. The best way to defeat the enemy and win the struggle is to allow yourself to be held accountable. This is why we confess our sins to one another.

This does not mean we must broadcast our sins to everyone. If in your sin you have offended someone, hurt someone, then you must go to the one you offended and make things right (to the best of your ability, make peace. Mt. 5:23-23 

Use wisdom, sometimes it is just between you and God. Remember, there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. If you have confessed and repented, you are free and that sin no longer has a hold on you. Christ paid for our sins at the cross, there is no need to carry guilt. You do not have to beat yourself up. You fell down, now get back up, brush your knees off and walk in freedom.

I started this with a question of what does it mean to cover a multitude of sins with love. Yes, it was Gods love for us that brought Jesus to the cross so that we may be forgiven, he took our sins upon Him. I believe it also means, as ambassadors of Christ, when a sister or brother comes to us and confesses a sin, if they have repented, we are to pray for our brother/sister. We are not to gossip, spread tales, or "share" with others. We are to cover the sin in love, with forgiveness, understanding, compassion, and discretion.

Did you read Genesis 9? Shem and Japheth covered their fathers nakedness, their faces were turned away and they did not see their fathers nakedness.

Just as Jesus forgave us, we are to forgive others. Sin entangles us, this is why Jesus came, to set us free from the law of sin and death. Even as He was on the cross He said, Father forgive the for they know not what they do. Forgiveness releases us from the grasp of sin and offense. Forgiveness agrees to no longer hold a wrong against a person. This does not mean there are not sometimes consequences to sin. But, if we cannot practice discretion, if we defend ourselves against the offense of others, if we display the sin of someone for others to see, then we must question motive. We must take inventory and ask ourselves if we are truly walking in love and forgiveness.

No doubt, we sometimes get hurt, and sometimes the hurt is deep. We must find the healing from the hurt through Christ, lest we unwittingly fall into sin ourselves. We should not judge others, or rate their sins. We have all sinned. Christ forgives a repentant sinner,  as He forgave us, so must we forgive others.

It is always best to walk in grace and mercy towards each other. We are called to be ministers of reconciliation.

Be Free & Stay Free

Covenant

The term covenant means "coming together." In the Bible it is translated in the Hebrew over 300 times. In the Old testament the word is bond. It is a bonding.

In marriage a covenant is intended by God to be a lifelong, fruitful, relationship between a man and a woman. It is a vow to God, to each other, our families, and the community, to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation and sexual purity, while purposefully growing in the covenant marriage relationship. It is the binding, or establishing a bond between two parties, with the concept of "cleaving" or "sticking together." This is a promise not to be taken lightly.

Marriage is a holy union (Mark 10:9) it is to be held in honor by all (Hebrews 13:4)

Look beyond the emotions and the butterflies; because these euphoric feelings will pass. Until death do us part may be a long time. Love is not always a feeling, it is a choice. Luke 14:28 says, no man builds a house without first counting the cost.

Consider and choose wisely. Ephesians 5:21-33

Is it a loss or is it growth?

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4.

I think of her story often, especially when I am faced with change. Each time I read her story God shows me something new. His word is like that. His word is alive and will meet you at your point of need.

This past year has been a trying year for me; a real test of faith. At times it was as though I were on an emotional roller coaster. I would find myself at the peak of a high and think I have arrived, only to be plummeted down the next slope. Up and down. Seriously, I do not know how people survive life without knowing Jesus.

Do you ever feel that way?  Just as you arrive to the peak of the mountain you are staring at the ground floor again? I don't know about you, but I am going to be real honest here, there were moments where I really questioned if I would have the strength to start all over again. And to be even more real, if it weren't for the grace of God and His love for me, I would have probably just sat down and stared into oblivion and wish it all to be over. Doesn't sound very spiritual, does it? I am just being real.

This is when I was reminded of the Shunammite woman. I can imagine her voice, her heart, her grief, when she said to Elisha,  "Did I desire a son? Did I not say 'do not deceive me?"

I have said things very similar to God. It is OK for me to share this with you, because He knows anyway. My moaning's to God sounded something like this, "Why would you give this to me, just to take it away? I am tired of starting over! It is not fair! When will it be my turn? How much more do I have to take?!"

The thing about pity parties is no one shows up. It is usually a party of one. Even when you felt you did everything right, it wasn't your fault, you may still find yourself at the bottom of the roller coaster, scratching your head and wondering what just happened. Perhaps it is a relationship gone bad, a loss of a job, loss of home, health issues, or any other curve ball that has been thrown at you.

Let us remember, trials will come. Things do happen, to all of us. Not everyone we want in our lives will want to stay there. There will be times you will be misunderstood, harshly judged, and wrongly accused. It happens to all of us. But this does not have to be the end of us. The dream He gave you, He hasn't taken it back. The gifts He gave you, He hasn't taken that back either. Just because it has not come to pass the way you thought it would does not mean it will not come to pass.

James 1 says, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave in the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man and unstable in all his ways.

God does, and will, open doors. We still have to do our part and walk through them. He will also close doors and we will have to choose to trust Him and let that door close.

My friend, I write this to encourage you. Though the plans you laid, have fallen, trust the Lord. His ways are perfect. Trust Him when He says your steps are ordered by Him. Listen for His voice. You will not always see a big flashing sign pointing you in the direction you should go. You may not even get the memo warning you change is coming and it may happen abruptly. But what you can count on and trust, is His Spirit to lead you.

So when your foundation has been shaken, when all you thought you had gained has been stripped away from you, in that moment of decision, choose to believe. Shut the pity party down. Ask God to search your heart and let this time have its perfect work, so what is produced from this will bring forth a harvest. Be like the Shunammite woman, she did not assemble a funeral, she went right to the source. Take it to Jesus, my friend.

If you walk in forgiveness, maintain a teachable spirit, and choose love; you will see this is not a season of loss, but of growth.

                               Be Free & Stay Free

Dirty Mirrors

Hand a little girl a mirror after telling her how beautiful she is and she will see a princess peering at her through her own reflection. Years later, hand her a mirror and she may see something entirely different. What she sees in the present moment is a reflection of her past.

Our mental ability to recreate images from the past enables us to reinterpret them. If the image is distorted, our "view" will be distorted. Our reality is based on our own perception and it will be as looking into a carnival mirror if our perception is not based on Gods truth.

Most of us remember the childhood story of The Jungle Book, about a young boy, Mowgli, who was raised by wolves in the Indian Jungle. Through a series of events, Mowgli stumbles into a human village and is adopted by a human family. But, he has a hard time adapting to the "human life." Being raised by wolves, he did not see himself as a human boy, he saw himself as a wolf. He was a human that acted like a wolf. Living with the wolves did not change who he was, it changed who he thought he was.

Do you know who you are, or are you like Mowgli? Has the past, and/or your present circumstance, distorted your view of who you really are? Call a child a wolf long enough and he will begin to believe it and act like a wolf.


Dust your mirror off and shower yourself in His Word. If you want to know who you really are, you must know He is and who you are in Him.  

You are so much more than what the human eye and mind can understand. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made; created with a purpose.

Praise Him, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are His works. Psalm 139:14

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. Isaiah 43:1

Have you fallen into agreement with the lies that have been spoken over you? Perhaps you have even spoken those lies yourself? The power of life and death is in our words. Begin to speak His truth.

Separate yourself from who/what tears you down. It is OK to set boundaries. It is OK to love someone from a distance. Surround yourself with people who care about you and saturate yourself in His word. Release those that have hurt you, walk in forgiveness. I know this is not always easy, but it is for your good. Forgiveness does not right a wrong, but it will free you from the bondage that holds you .

You were created for so much more. Get out of the mud and let Him break the chains that keep you bound. Only through Him will you find healing. Only in Him will you find yourself. There is no substitution.

So, when those thoughts come in, when the lies try to invade, hold it up to the truth of His Word. Begin to say, "Thus say the Lord...."

Then when you look in the mirror, you will not see the distorted image as in a carnival, you will see Him. You will see His reflection in you and you will marvel how beautiful is His creation and His creation is you.

You are His beloved.

Be Free & Stay Free

Deception

For when they say, "Peace and safety!" then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape." 1 Thessalonians 5:3

Take heed that no one deceives you! Click here

Does it seem that everywhere you turn you are running into a wall? You try to do the "right thing," but your best is never quite good enough? People let you down, your wallet has a hole in it, for every two steps forward you feel that you have been pushed a step back. Have you lost your peace amidst the storm and now you just want a way out?

Have you quit going to church because you leave feeling just as empty as when you went in? Have you quit praying because you feel that your prayers are no longer heard and you struggle to find strength to just be still? Do you have questions and the cliché "religious" answers are just not cutting it anymore? Is your faith wavering and you are walking the tightrope and teetering on unbelief?

My friend, your struggle is not something new click here. You must remember that you are in a very real battle click here. As a follower of Christ, you have become a target for the enemy. He has sent his soldiers after you to not just cripple you (although that would please him), but to kill you.

Remember, you do have the weapons needed for this kind of warfare click here.  You are more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthens you.

What is the greatest temptation that you are facing right now?

It should come as no surprise that Christianity is the most persecuted religion in the world. The meaning of Christianity is not about religion, but to be a follower of Christ; to be a true imitator of Jesus, in word and in deed. It is about relationship with the One who has created you and called you by name. As your relationship with Christ strengthens and you are being conformed into His image, you will carry His light into a very dark world and the world will not like that light, because it will expose the darkness, the agenda of the enemy. It will cause discomfort for those who want to stay in the comfort of their denial and ignorance.

The enemy is clever and his attack is strategically subtle. First, he will try to seduce you and lure you into his trap of complacency. Eventually you may find yourself compromising and making excuse. You will begin to become numb in the spirit and the lies that you hear, (which by the way... half truths are still lies) will start to make sense to you. Confusion will set in. You will start to fall into agreement with the world when it says, "surely, God is a God of love and He wants you to be happy, so if it feels good, do it." You begin to remain silent for fear that you will appear "judgmental" or "intolerant."  Even though you know inside that it is wrong, you pacify that conviction with the thought "if they like me they will listen to me." You mistakenly believe that building a relationship with the world will give you some kind of credibility to speak to them. You wait for that perfect time to share the truth with them and before you even realize it, you have forgotten what the truth really is.

You will begin to let your defenses down and expose yourself to more attack. Now the attack is getting real and you are not even aware, that like the world, the light that you once carried is now making you uncomfortable. So you seek out someone who preaches their version of the "good news" and not the true Gospel. You think you will find rest in the ear tickle words of people who are saying peace when there is no peace. These people will distort the message of grace. They will tell you to be happy, because they do not understand that there is a difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness is based on circumstance, joy is the knowing that Christ is with you, it is hope.

Many find the truth offensive. Strange, in a world of hostility and assault, we should shrug off the truth in the name of (false) peace.

We should not be surprised when we see the falling away. Yet, I marvel when I see how someone so on fire for the Lord being lulled away by erroneous teaching because their message makes them feel good. I do not say this lightly and one thing I have learned is to never say never. I pray that like Peter, I will always say "Lord, where else could I go but to you?"

Still, here we are and we have to ask, how have we, as a church, fallen so far? Where have we lost it? Where have our fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, and children gone?

What are we to do? How are we able to withstand? click here

It is not difficult, know this, God will not be mocked, nor will His Spirit be conjured up, for we know that we are all His creation, but not all of us are His children. We were created for Him, for relationship with Him, and when that fellowship with Him was broken through sin, He made a way through His Son on the cross to reconcile us to Him.

Hell was not intended for us, but it is real. It is the heart of God that none shall perish but all shall have everlasting life. Do not fall for the lie that there is no heaven, there is no hell, or we are all going to heaven, or just as bad there is nothing after this life. My friends, we will all face eternity, it is just a matter as to where.

You will live in your fathers house. You must choose who your father is. It is a choice. God has already chosen you and now you must  choose. Do not harden your heart.  

The day is coming where we will all have to give account, every single one of us, and there will be no escape when that day comes. So put away your mental list of what you have done, because when you stand before Him the only thing that matters is "are you His." A stranger does not enter the Fathers house, His children enter His house.

What must you do? Repent! Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Romans 10:9

When you receive salvation through Jesus, He will give you a Helper, a Comforter, a Teacher, and He will lead you in the way of truth. So, when you hear the fancy and charismatic words of false teachers, you will know to run from them. When the world calls good evil and evil good, you will know to run.

Do not be afraid and do not partner with the world. Even if you feel you are standing alone, He has promised that you are never alone because He will never leave you. The Lord always has His remnant, take your place in His family. You are a warrior, but the battle is not yours. Trust in Him to deliver you. Stay in His presence. Be the light in a dark world, walk in His love.

Be Free & Stay Free

Waiting for the vision

Psalm 37: says to delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart and Proverbs 3:6 says in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
 
So all of us who have had the veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord-who is the Spirit-make us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image.
 
It is about relationship with the Lord. As we cultivate our relationship with Jesus, by spending time with Him, (because time is how we build relationship) we begin to see His love for us and because of His love, we fall more in love with Him.
 
The more we know Him, the more we trust Him. We can trust that He loves us perfectly, completely, and unconditionally. We have no reason to fear anything, because we know that not only is He able, but He is willing, to provide our every need and to care for us.
 
Love is not self seeking, it's not selfish. When we love, we put others first, above our own needs and wants. As we are being conformed into His image our desires begin to line up with His desires. Our hearts begin to beat in sync with His heart. So what was once so important to us begins to change and we begin to see with His eyes. We begin to lose our selfish motives and we learn to trust Him to work things out for our good, to benefit us and others, and to bring Him glory.
 
There was a woman (read 2 Kings 4:8-37) who had a servants heart. She recognized a man of God and she served him; she did this from her heart.  She served without selfish motives and her service was recognized and rewarded. She delighted in her service to the man of God, it was her service to the Lord.
 
The woman had no children. We can imagine (from v.16) that it was her desire to have a child and she had reached a place of understanding and submission to God (v. 13) that her service was solely to serve and honor God.
 
I imagine, before she reached the place of v.13, of acceptance of His will and trust in Him, she probably spent time, and many nights, crying out to God for a child. When she did not conceive, she submitted to His will and relinquished her own. We know she did not become bitter or turn away from her faith because v.9-10 reveals the attitude of her heart.
 
Have you reached that place yet? Have you laid down your desire, your agenda, placed it on the alter and committed to 'not my will, but Your will'?
 
It's natural, when we want something, to try to manipulate things to bring it about. We plot and plan and obsess in attaining it; whatever that "it" may be. We may even deceive ourselves into thinking it is God's perfect will for us. When we spend more time acquiring "it," we spend less time on seeking Him to know if it's really His best for us. We hinder the supernatural move of God.
 
We may strive so hard to get "it" that we don't realize we are not ready for "it" when "it" comes.
 
(Romans 5:1-6) We can rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. We know that perseverance produces character; and character, hope. Hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given us.
 
When we align ourselves with God's will, when we can submit our wants to Him, and trust that He will bring it to pass; if the desire, vision, came from Him; then we can truly be conformed into His image.
 
Habakkuk 2:3 reminds us the vision is for an appointed time, it will come to pass. We can trust Him, if it's from Him, He will complete the work that He has begun.
 
As we can learn from the Shunammite woman, when she gave her desire to God, focused on Him, He gave her the desire of her heart.  And when we know it is from Him, no bad report will move us, we will not give way to doubt; we trust Him.

It is all in His timing, for your benefit and to His glory.

Be free and stay free.

Appointment at the Well

It is easier to free fall when you know you have a safety net. It's about trust; trusting that God has you in the palm of His hand. Believing that even though you feel you are free falling, you are actually being elevated to a better place that will position you for the purpose that He has for you.

It is about faith in the perfection of His love and learning to rest your weakness in His strength. It's about resisting the impulse to flail your arms to grasp what is closest to keep you from the exhilarating fall and letting go of everything that you have made an idol. You will never be complete when you cling to your self-made safety net, because that net becomes a hard shell that will block revelation. It will cover your spiritual ears and restrict you from hearing His whisper that says, "Let go, I have you."

I went to the well to draw water. I always go in the afternoon; because in my shame, I don't want to go when the other women are there. They mock me. Even in their silence I can feel their scorn and judgment. Do they really think I chose this kind of life?

They don't know, or understand, where I have been. They do not know that I would have given anything for their life; in fact, I have, I gave everything. Now I am just empty, depleted, and left with nothing more to give. Everything has been taken, stolen. I reach my hand out, only to be pushed away. I open my arms, only to be shunned. I give my heart and my body, only to be rejected.

I don't want to see anyone, or face anyone, because if they look in my eyes they may see me. If they look in my face they will see my shame, regret, anger, fear, sadness, despair, hopelessness and dirt. Yes, their judgment may be correct, but it still hurts.

There is a Man there. He is sitting quietly and peacefully. I can't say that He is particularly attractive, but there is something about Him that I am drawn to. He has something different.

He ask me to give Him a drink. Why would He ask me? There are better women than me. He must not know me. I am not one of His kind. If He knew who I was He would not even acknowledge me. He would see me like everyone else does and He would be right in doing so. "Why do you ask me for a drink?" I ask Him.

He looks right in me and tells me if I knew the gift of God, and who He was, I would ask Him for a drink and He would give me living water. I don't understand, but I feel there is truth in what He said. I want to ask Him to give me that water, but I am afraid. If I talk I will expose myself and He will leave, just like everyone else.

But, there is something about Him. It is as if He see's me, I mean really see's me; yet He is still there. He makes no move to leave. He is offering me something and He is waiting for me to ask. I hesitate and try to change the subject. I feel naked, as if He can see in me, through me. I feel naked, but not ashamed.

He is not moved. He is not offended. He is patient. He speaks of a fountain of water that gives everlasting life. I want it! I want to feel alive. I want to breathe.

My heart sinks when He tells me to go call my husband to come. I can say nothing but that I have no husband. He smiles. "You have spoken well," He said. Then He began to tell me about me. I feel warmth and love in His words and His voice. He is bathing me in a warm shower of His love. I feel the burden lifted off my shoulders. I feel the mire of shame, regret, filth and sin fall off me.

I tell Him it is as if God Himself were speaking to me, because only God could know such things, secret things.

With His eyes He smiles again and says, "I who speak to you am He."

God revealed Himself to me. He took time to speak to me, touch me and He didn't cringe, He wasn't disgusted or disappointed. He was there for me. Waiting for me.  

I cannot contain the joy I am feeling. This is the first time I felt clean, free. I have to tell someone. I have to tell everyone.

God came down and He spoke with me. He knew me and loved me anyway. He wrapped His love around me. He removed my shame and filth and replaced it with love and acceptance.

Now, I know He is God and He is no respecter of persons. But, I have to say, that moment, that time with Him, I felt like I was all that mattered to Him. I felt loved.

John 4:7-29

Be Free & Stay Free

Perfect Love

Some of us have been in positions, a newness of a relationship, where everything seems to come up roses. You know what I mean, the sun rises and sets on your new Amor, you are texting and calling each other constantly, each time you hear each others voice it is like the dawn of a crisp new day. You begin to romanticize and plan in your imagination your future together; the perfect future. At last, your fairytale romance has come. You anticipate and replay every conversation, every look, every move, you take in every nuance.  Everything fits. Everything is perfect.


The closer you get, the more you reveal yourself. The more comfortable you become, the less comfortable you are, because you begin to over analyze everything, you begin to think, "Did I say too much?" or "Are we moving too fast?" or "What if he/she doesn't feel the same way?"

When the newness has passed and you begin to settle in, finding the rhythm of your relationship. You feel uncomfortable, because you aren't talking as much as you to, or he/she didn't text you their every move like they used to, or they didn't text you a good morning within 10 minutes of being awake. Your insecurity begins to show like an oversized slip and it is not very attractive. So, instead of relaxing and trusting, you panic. You claw at air, fight invisible battles and imaginary enemies. Your mind races, your heart sinks, you cry, you reason and you just don't understand why he/she doesn't love you.

I submit  that you do not know what love is. Not real love. You may know the feeling of falling in love, you may have an idea of what love should be. Your love is based on feeling and emotions.

If you could relate to what I wrote above, then brace yourself, because this is a lesson on love. When this sinks into your spirit, you will begin to relax and just let love.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

What does this mean? Now, I am not a fan of country music, but there is an old song that says, "looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces..."

Love is not impatient, envious, boastful, proud, rude, or selfish. So, if you are feeling these things it is time to check yourself. Check your heart and check your motives.

When you understand the love of Christ towards you, then you will know how to love. You will understand that the actions and acceptance of others does not sway Gods affections for you. It does not change who you are.

You will never find comfort in fear. You will never find peace in the fear of being rejected, abandoned, or by being jealous, controlling and consuming.

When you can take that breath and say, God knows best, He loves me beyond measure and He knows, nothing catches Him by surprise and I will trust Him, because I know that all things will work together for my good; then you will know love.

When you are willing to let go of control and trust God, He will reveal the truth to you and the truth will set you free. Because right now you only see things in part, but He sees the big picture.

We were created for relationship; relationship with Him. This relationship MUST come first. When you have cultivated the intimate relationship with the Father, you will know Him and in knowing Him, you will trust Him and in trusting Him, you will know that He loves you perfectly and that you do not have to conjure up any relationship or emotion to be made whole, because you are whole in Him.


When you have been made perfect in love, then you will recognize a healthy relationship. You will know how to nurture, not suffocate; how to build and not tear down; and how to endure, grow, cherish, protect, give and love without fear. The measure of your love will not be based on what you receive from anyone else, you will love freely and passionately. You will not make demands. Because this is what the love of the Father has done for you. And it is in Him and only in Him will you find you.



Be Free & Stay Free

Elephant in Your Living Room

A man was walking the grounds of a circus, observing the animals. As he approached the elephants he was confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by a single rope tied to their leg. Obviously the elephants could break the rope and walk away, but oddly, they did not.

He motioned to a trainer nearby and asked him why such a magnificent and strong creature made no attempt to break away? How could it be that such a small rope could restrain such a large and strong creature?

 “When they are young we use a similar size rope to tie them and because they are small they cannot break away. As they grow, they are conditioned to think that the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” The trainer answered.

The man was amazed! Imagine, the elephant could break free at any time, but because he believed that he could not, he didn’t even try. The elephant was stuck right there, in captivity.

I wonder, if the man had cut the rope, would the elephant walk away to freedom? If he had cut the rope at the stake, but left it on the elephant’s ankles, would the elephant still believe that he was bound to the stake? Or, what if he cut the rope from his ankles? Would the elephant then know he was free? Or would he stay, because it is what he knows? Would he stay because “this is the way it has always been”?

How many of us are like that elephant?

How many are held captive to the ropes of the past?

How many have learned to adapt to the ropes; perhaps even embraced the ropes?

Sure does sound silly, doesn’t it? Imagine the tragic comedy it is when we choose to hold on to the things that keep us so bound up, rather than walk in complete freedom.

There is a phenomenon called Stockholm syndrome. It is a strong emotional tie that is formed between two people where one abuses, threatens, harasses, intimidates, or beats the other. It is suggested that the bonding is the victims coping mechanism, in response to the trauma of being a victim.

As strange as it seems that a majestic creature like the elephant stays chained to a small rope, it is even stranger that a victim should form a bond with a person (or thing/addiction/mind-set) who has taken their freedom away and abused them. Yet, this is what happens, in the spiritual.

We begin to identify with the chains of bondage because we do not know our identity.

We identify to labels. Don’t believe me, ask someone who they are and they will probably tell you their job title; you know, the one word title that describes what we do (or where we have been).

There is ONE who can cut those ropes of bondage from you and give you freedom.

John 8:36 says, “Therefore if the Son (Jesus) makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

I put emphases on the “if” because it is important that you understand something. It IS Gods will that you be free. He has made all provision for your freedom, through His Son, Jesus. His gift of salvation is free. He will never force it on you. He will also never deny you should you choose to accept the free gift of salvation, freedom. When you accept His Son, you have accepted all that comes with being an heir.

2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”

What does this mean?

I am going to break this down for you in very plain language.

If you have Christ, you are no longer a victim! You are more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthen you. You are to be conformed into His image, you are dead to your past and you are alive in Christ who gives you the hope and the promise of eternal life. You have received forgiveness and you are to offer forgiveness to those who have wronged you, abused you, hurt you and to yourself. Unforgiveness will keep you tied to your past and to your old mindsets. You are no longer a whore hopping from bed to bed, relationship to relationship, you are sanctified, you are pure and you are to offer yourself up as a living sacrifice to the One who has set you free. You are no longer an addict, an alcoholic, an angry person, an inferior person, a victim, an abuser, a fearful person, a selfish person or a self-preserved person.  You are not a fortress within yourself.

Your freedom has been purchased at a very high cost. You are to no longer play in the pig pen with the pigs, you are washed clean with the blood of Jesus. Your future is secure and you are to break ties with the past. You cannot hold onto the past while looking to the future.

That tie that held you for so long is no longer there. That phantom feeling you get of the rope on your ankles is a lie and you must recognize that.

I am not suggesting that this is always easy, because sure enough there will be times when it seems that all hell will break loose on you. But, free people always have a choice. You can choose to believe the lie and risk becoming bound again, or you can choose to believe Gods promise.

Jesus said if you abide in His Word, you are His disciples and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Whoever commits sin is a slave of sin and a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever.

Many of us have had painful past. Many of us have been victims of people and/or circumstance that was beyond our control. But that is not what defines us. The past is not where we find our identity. Our identity is found in Jesus.

What is it that holds you back? What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to forgive?

Confession and repentance is the first step to freedom. Repentance means to no longer return to the rope (sin) that has held you. You turn away from it. You cling to Jesus. You allow Him to bring healing. You do not self-medicate with un-holy relationships or addictions. To many this may seem impossible, to step out of the comfort zone and break old habits, but Jesus said that what is impossible for man is possible with God.

As a free person, you have a choice. You can choose to believe Him or not to believe Him.

God is faithful, He cares for you and He loves you. There is nothing that can separate you from His love. He wants you to acknowledge and walk in the freedom that He has given you. He wants this more than you.

Are you weary? Are you tired of the merry-go-round of emotions? God says come up here. Learn to see through His eyes.

Kick that elephant out of your living room and divorce your past. You have no more relationship with your past. You are a new creation. A holy nation, a royal priesthood, an heir with Christ, a child of the Most High God. Walk in it!

Be Free & Stay Free

You Are What You Eat

Wallow with the pigs and you will get dirty!

If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 1 John 1:6

In these last days it is important that we wear the full armor of God and we spend time in His presence. We must learn to seek Him. We must purpose to be in His presence. It is only through Him are we able to have balance and recognize the peace that He gives us.

There are so many things and people that want to steal our peace. If we are not careful, we allow the distractions to enter and steal our peace. There is no joy if there is no peace.

I am calling you to take inventory.

• What are your thoughts? What is occupying your thoughts?
• Who are you spending time with? Does the relationship edify?
• Who have you allowed into your inner circle?
• Do you know the difference between "friends" and ministry?
• Who do you turn to in your time of distress?
• Are you surrounded by confusion and chaos?
• Do you know how to set boundaries? 

There are times in our lives that we experience loss, grief, sadness...

Anyone who has entered that dark night of the soul can attest to the warfare. This will bring us face to face with ourselves and hopefully to our knees before the throne of God. This is when we must cling even tighter to the promise of God. Though we may feel forsaken during this trial of faith, we must remember He said He will never forsake us. This is the time to press in, fight those distractions, close the rest of the world out and get before Jesus.

In Acts 9 (click here to read) we learn about a woman who died and they called Peter to come to them. The woman was a disciple and I am sure that they called Peter to come mourn with them. They may not have expected what happened next. Peter arrives on the scene, the women are mourning. They are showing him the garments that she made while she was with them. They were speaking of her in past terms. Understandable, right? We do that at funerals, we display the pictures and talk about all they have done while they were alive. We give them a memorial. Memorials are for the dead.

What did Peter do? Did he sit down with the mourners and grieve and start recalling her life? Did he join the party for the dead? No, he put them out of the room, he shut them out! Then he knelt and prayed and turned to the body and said, "Tabitha, arise." She then opened her eyes and saw Peter and sat up, then Peter took her by the hand and she stood up.

Had Peter joined the grieving party of the mourners she would not have been presented alive. She would have been buried.

Take note of what Peter did. He put the mourners out of the room, closed the door and spoke life.

If you are surrounded by nay sayers, people of unbelief, complainers, gossips, negativity, then you will become just like them. If you allow your thoughts to be constantly bombarded with the things that are contrary to Gods Word and His promise, then you will have unbelief and there is no faith in unbelief. There is no power in unbelief.

We would have to leave this world to be completely rid of all the negativity, but since we are in this world, even though we are not of this world, we must guard our hearts and take care in choosing who we allow into our inner circle.

As believers we are called to be a witness of His glory. We must always point to Christ. We can not fall into agreement with the world. Do NOT get sucked in! Choose wisely who you permit to speak into your life.

You heard the saying, you are what you eat. Keep feeding your mind with poison of defeat and that is what you will become. As followers of Christ we are more than conquerors. We are not called to be a defeated nation, but a Holy Nation. His nation does not add validity to what the world believes.

If you find yourself in a state of confusion, depression, heaviness; take inventory.

Healing, peace, joy and order comes from Him and Him alone. You will not find it in any other substitute. Close the doors to the mourners or you will be attending your own funeral. What good will you be to the commission if you yourself are buried?

Quit seeking for answers elsewhere. Get into your closet and seek Him. Put your armor on daily and do not let anything or anyone steal your peace.

Saturate yourself with His word, surround yourself with His people.




Be Free & Stay Free