Conversation With My Friend

"I'm tired." She said, tears welling up in her eyes, as she took another sip of her coffee.

We sat at the table in silence; she staring into her coffee and me looking at her. I didn't know what to say to her, I prayed for God to give me words of comfort for her, but nothing came. Maybe she just needs me to listen.  

After a long pause, she took another sip of her coffee, put her cup down and looked me in the eye. I could see the traces of sleepless nights on her face. The circles under eyes made her look older than she was and the puffiness told me she had been crying.

"Why can't I get it right? Why do people always leave me? Am I that unlovable?" She looked away, gazed out the window and I could see a new tear forming at the corner of her eye. "I give it my all, I try to be the perfect person. No matter what I do it is just never enough."

I have known her for a long time. She came from a broken home, abandoned by her father. She married at a young age to an abusive husband, who eventually left her and her children. After two failed marriages, a couple failed relationships, a most recent heartbreak, and years of struggle, my friend sat in front of me and confessed she can no longer go on. "Something has got to give!" She said in a barely audible whisper.

My friend didn't see herself as others saw her. She always saw herself as someone who is... less than. But, what I saw was a strong woman. A beautiful, compassionate, woman. She always has a smile on her face, she loved extravagantly, anyone who came into contact with her became an instant friend. She was beautiful on the inside and out. Everyone noticed her. This always surprised me when she felt as though she were invisible.

I wanted to tell her it is not that she is unworthy, she just chooses unworthy people to give her heart to. I know she does this because she does not see her own worth and what a treasure she really is.

I take her by the hand and I look into her eyes, her beautiful sad eyes. I can feel my own heart breaking for her.

"Don't you ever for a minute think you are unworthy." I firmly tell her. "You are so precious to Him, you are a treasure in His hands. Yes, others have left you and hurt you. But, my dear friend, He will never leave you. He is not angry with you. He has a plan and a purpose for you. Your vision has been clouded, you have not been able to hear Him because of the voices in your own head, but this does not mean He is not near. He has seen everything that has been done to you, and He has seen everything you have done. But, He forgives you, He loves you, and He wants you to give your burdens to Him. He wants you to trust Him with your cares, your anxieties, and your dreams."

I want to tell her to take her eyes off people and focus on Him, because I know her wounds go so much deeper. Only He can touch the depth of her wounded soul and bring the healing she cries out for. But I also know it will require her to completely trust Him and to be vulnerable again. Her trust has been shattered so many times from trusting the wrong people, I wonder if she will even be able to open up and receive His healing for her.

Our conversation shifts to the surface, because this is where she feels comfortable. We talk about our jobs, the weather, the children, anything and everything to not have to talk anymore about the discomfort and pain she is feeling. Both of us are only half way in the conversation, going through the motions of not addressing the obvious need she has.

Thirty minutes later I am watching her through my rear mirror as she drives off. I sit in my car, silent, thinking about the conversation with my friend. And I pray for her. I pray for God to reveal Himself to her and to show her who she is in Him. I pray the motions of joy she portrays to the outside world become real joy. I pray  for her deliverance and that she would turn away from anyone who is not Gods best for her. May she be so focused in the revelation of His love for her, that she will never settle for anyone or anything that is less. Oh, that she would come to the understanding her past is not her future. She is accepted by the true lover of her soul.

Yes, my friend, you are beautiful. You are beautiful because you belong to Him. We live in a fallen world filled with broken people. It was never His plan for us to be hurt, abused, overlooked, rejected. But it happens, sometimes by other people and sometimes through our own choices. The consequence can feel unbearable and suffocating, but it does not have to be the death of us.

Oh, my broken friend, lay yourself at His feet. He will lift you up and in His arms you are safe.

Be Free & Stay Free

Dirty Mirrors

Hand a little girl a mirror after telling her how beautiful she is and she will see a princess peering at her through her own reflection. Years later, hand her a mirror and she may see something entirely different. What she sees in the present moment is a reflection of her past.

Our mental ability to recreate images from the past enables us to reinterpret them. If the image is distorted, our "view" will be distorted. Our reality is based on our own perception and it will be as looking into a carnival mirror if our perception is not based on Gods truth.

Most of us remember the childhood story of The Jungle Book, about a young boy, Mowgli, who was raised by wolves in the Indian Jungle. Through a series of events, Mowgli stumbles into a human village and is adopted by a human family. But, he has a hard time adapting to the "human life." Being raised by wolves, he did not see himself as a human boy, he saw himself as a wolf. He was a human that acted like a wolf. Living with the wolves did not change who he was, it changed who he thought he was.

Do you know who you are, or are you like Mowgli? Has the past, and/or your present circumstance, distorted your view of who you really are? Call a child a wolf long enough and he will begin to believe it and act like a wolf.


Dust your mirror off and shower yourself in His Word. If you want to know who you really are, you must know He is and who you are in Him.  

You are so much more than what the human eye and mind can understand. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made; created with a purpose.

Praise Him, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are His works. Psalm 139:14

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. Isaiah 43:1

Have you fallen into agreement with the lies that have been spoken over you? Perhaps you have even spoken those lies yourself? The power of life and death is in our words. Begin to speak His truth.

Separate yourself from who/what tears you down. It is OK to set boundaries. It is OK to love someone from a distance. Surround yourself with people who care about you and saturate yourself in His word. Release those that have hurt you, walk in forgiveness. I know this is not always easy, but it is for your good. Forgiveness does not right a wrong, but it will free you from the bondage that holds you .

You were created for so much more. Get out of the mud and let Him break the chains that keep you bound. Only through Him will you find healing. Only in Him will you find yourself. There is no substitution.

So, when those thoughts come in, when the lies try to invade, hold it up to the truth of His Word. Begin to say, "Thus say the Lord...."

Then when you look in the mirror, you will not see the distorted image as in a carnival, you will see Him. You will see His reflection in you and you will marvel how beautiful is His creation and His creation is you.

You are His beloved.

Be Free & Stay Free

Deception

For when they say, "Peace and safety!" then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape." 1 Thessalonians 5:3

Take heed that no one deceives you! Click here

Does it seem that everywhere you turn you are running into a wall? You try to do the "right thing," but your best is never quite good enough? People let you down, your wallet has a hole in it, for every two steps forward you feel that you have been pushed a step back. Have you lost your peace amidst the storm and now you just want a way out?

Have you quit going to church because you leave feeling just as empty as when you went in? Have you quit praying because you feel that your prayers are no longer heard and you struggle to find strength to just be still? Do you have questions and the cliché "religious" answers are just not cutting it anymore? Is your faith wavering and you are walking the tightrope and teetering on unbelief?

My friend, your struggle is not something new click here. You must remember that you are in a very real battle click here. As a follower of Christ, you have become a target for the enemy. He has sent his soldiers after you to not just cripple you (although that would please him), but to kill you.

Remember, you do have the weapons needed for this kind of warfare click here.  You are more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthens you.

What is the greatest temptation that you are facing right now?

It should come as no surprise that Christianity is the most persecuted religion in the world. The meaning of Christianity is not about religion, but to be a follower of Christ; to be a true imitator of Jesus, in word and in deed. It is about relationship with the One who has created you and called you by name. As your relationship with Christ strengthens and you are being conformed into His image, you will carry His light into a very dark world and the world will not like that light, because it will expose the darkness, the agenda of the enemy. It will cause discomfort for those who want to stay in the comfort of their denial and ignorance.

The enemy is clever and his attack is strategically subtle. First, he will try to seduce you and lure you into his trap of complacency. Eventually you may find yourself compromising and making excuse. You will begin to become numb in the spirit and the lies that you hear, (which by the way... half truths are still lies) will start to make sense to you. Confusion will set in. You will start to fall into agreement with the world when it says, "surely, God is a God of love and He wants you to be happy, so if it feels good, do it." You begin to remain silent for fear that you will appear "judgmental" or "intolerant."  Even though you know inside that it is wrong, you pacify that conviction with the thought "if they like me they will listen to me." You mistakenly believe that building a relationship with the world will give you some kind of credibility to speak to them. You wait for that perfect time to share the truth with them and before you even realize it, you have forgotten what the truth really is.

You will begin to let your defenses down and expose yourself to more attack. Now the attack is getting real and you are not even aware, that like the world, the light that you once carried is now making you uncomfortable. So you seek out someone who preaches their version of the "good news" and not the true Gospel. You think you will find rest in the ear tickle words of people who are saying peace when there is no peace. These people will distort the message of grace. They will tell you to be happy, because they do not understand that there is a difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness is based on circumstance, joy is the knowing that Christ is with you, it is hope.

Many find the truth offensive. Strange, in a world of hostility and assault, we should shrug off the truth in the name of (false) peace.

We should not be surprised when we see the falling away. Yet, I marvel when I see how someone so on fire for the Lord being lulled away by erroneous teaching because their message makes them feel good. I do not say this lightly and one thing I have learned is to never say never. I pray that like Peter, I will always say "Lord, where else could I go but to you?"

Still, here we are and we have to ask, how have we, as a church, fallen so far? Where have we lost it? Where have our fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, and children gone?

What are we to do? How are we able to withstand? click here

It is not difficult, know this, God will not be mocked, nor will His Spirit be conjured up, for we know that we are all His creation, but not all of us are His children. We were created for Him, for relationship with Him, and when that fellowship with Him was broken through sin, He made a way through His Son on the cross to reconcile us to Him.

Hell was not intended for us, but it is real. It is the heart of God that none shall perish but all shall have everlasting life. Do not fall for the lie that there is no heaven, there is no hell, or we are all going to heaven, or just as bad there is nothing after this life. My friends, we will all face eternity, it is just a matter as to where.

You will live in your fathers house. You must choose who your father is. It is a choice. God has already chosen you and now you must  choose. Do not harden your heart.  

The day is coming where we will all have to give account, every single one of us, and there will be no escape when that day comes. So put away your mental list of what you have done, because when you stand before Him the only thing that matters is "are you His." A stranger does not enter the Fathers house, His children enter His house.

What must you do? Repent! Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Romans 10:9

When you receive salvation through Jesus, He will give you a Helper, a Comforter, a Teacher, and He will lead you in the way of truth. So, when you hear the fancy and charismatic words of false teachers, you will know to run from them. When the world calls good evil and evil good, you will know to run.

Do not be afraid and do not partner with the world. Even if you feel you are standing alone, He has promised that you are never alone because He will never leave you. The Lord always has His remnant, take your place in His family. You are a warrior, but the battle is not yours. Trust in Him to deliver you. Stay in His presence. Be the light in a dark world, walk in His love.

Be Free & Stay Free

Elephant in Your Living Room

A man was walking the grounds of a circus, observing the animals. As he approached the elephants he was confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by a single rope tied to their leg. Obviously the elephants could break the rope and walk away, but oddly, they did not.

He motioned to a trainer nearby and asked him why such a magnificent and strong creature made no attempt to break away? How could it be that such a small rope could restrain such a large and strong creature?

 “When they are young we use a similar size rope to tie them and because they are small they cannot break away. As they grow, they are conditioned to think that the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” The trainer answered.

The man was amazed! Imagine, the elephant could break free at any time, but because he believed that he could not, he didn’t even try. The elephant was stuck right there, in captivity.

I wonder, if the man had cut the rope, would the elephant walk away to freedom? If he had cut the rope at the stake, but left it on the elephant’s ankles, would the elephant still believe that he was bound to the stake? Or, what if he cut the rope from his ankles? Would the elephant then know he was free? Or would he stay, because it is what he knows? Would he stay because “this is the way it has always been”?

How many of us are like that elephant?

How many are held captive to the ropes of the past?

How many have learned to adapt to the ropes; perhaps even embraced the ropes?

Sure does sound silly, doesn’t it? Imagine the tragic comedy it is when we choose to hold on to the things that keep us so bound up, rather than walk in complete freedom.

There is a phenomenon called Stockholm syndrome. It is a strong emotional tie that is formed between two people where one abuses, threatens, harasses, intimidates, or beats the other. It is suggested that the bonding is the victims coping mechanism, in response to the trauma of being a victim.

As strange as it seems that a majestic creature like the elephant stays chained to a small rope, it is even stranger that a victim should form a bond with a person (or thing/addiction/mind-set) who has taken their freedom away and abused them. Yet, this is what happens, in the spiritual.

We begin to identify with the chains of bondage because we do not know our identity.

We identify to labels. Don’t believe me, ask someone who they are and they will probably tell you their job title; you know, the one word title that describes what we do (or where we have been).

There is ONE who can cut those ropes of bondage from you and give you freedom.

John 8:36 says, “Therefore if the Son (Jesus) makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

I put emphases on the “if” because it is important that you understand something. It IS Gods will that you be free. He has made all provision for your freedom, through His Son, Jesus. His gift of salvation is free. He will never force it on you. He will also never deny you should you choose to accept the free gift of salvation, freedom. When you accept His Son, you have accepted all that comes with being an heir.

2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”

What does this mean?

I am going to break this down for you in very plain language.

If you have Christ, you are no longer a victim! You are more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthen you. You are to be conformed into His image, you are dead to your past and you are alive in Christ who gives you the hope and the promise of eternal life. You have received forgiveness and you are to offer forgiveness to those who have wronged you, abused you, hurt you and to yourself. Unforgiveness will keep you tied to your past and to your old mindsets. You are no longer a whore hopping from bed to bed, relationship to relationship, you are sanctified, you are pure and you are to offer yourself up as a living sacrifice to the One who has set you free. You are no longer an addict, an alcoholic, an angry person, an inferior person, a victim, an abuser, a fearful person, a selfish person or a self-preserved person.  You are not a fortress within yourself.

Your freedom has been purchased at a very high cost. You are to no longer play in the pig pen with the pigs, you are washed clean with the blood of Jesus. Your future is secure and you are to break ties with the past. You cannot hold onto the past while looking to the future.

That tie that held you for so long is no longer there. That phantom feeling you get of the rope on your ankles is a lie and you must recognize that.

I am not suggesting that this is always easy, because sure enough there will be times when it seems that all hell will break loose on you. But, free people always have a choice. You can choose to believe the lie and risk becoming bound again, or you can choose to believe Gods promise.

Jesus said if you abide in His Word, you are His disciples and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Whoever commits sin is a slave of sin and a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever.

Many of us have had painful past. Many of us have been victims of people and/or circumstance that was beyond our control. But that is not what defines us. The past is not where we find our identity. Our identity is found in Jesus.

What is it that holds you back? What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to forgive?

Confession and repentance is the first step to freedom. Repentance means to no longer return to the rope (sin) that has held you. You turn away from it. You cling to Jesus. You allow Him to bring healing. You do not self-medicate with un-holy relationships or addictions. To many this may seem impossible, to step out of the comfort zone and break old habits, but Jesus said that what is impossible for man is possible with God.

As a free person, you have a choice. You can choose to believe Him or not to believe Him.

God is faithful, He cares for you and He loves you. There is nothing that can separate you from His love. He wants you to acknowledge and walk in the freedom that He has given you. He wants this more than you.

Are you weary? Are you tired of the merry-go-round of emotions? God says come up here. Learn to see through His eyes.

Kick that elephant out of your living room and divorce your past. You have no more relationship with your past. You are a new creation. A holy nation, a royal priesthood, an heir with Christ, a child of the Most High God. Walk in it!

Be Free & Stay Free

You Are What You Eat

Wallow with the pigs and you will get dirty!

If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 1 John 1:6

In these last days it is important that we wear the full armor of God and we spend time in His presence. We must learn to seek Him. We must purpose to be in His presence. It is only through Him are we able to have balance and recognize the peace that He gives us.

There are so many things and people that want to steal our peace. If we are not careful, we allow the distractions to enter and steal our peace. There is no joy if there is no peace.

I am calling you to take inventory.

• What are your thoughts? What is occupying your thoughts?
• Who are you spending time with? Does the relationship edify?
• Who have you allowed into your inner circle?
• Do you know the difference between "friends" and ministry?
• Who do you turn to in your time of distress?
• Are you surrounded by confusion and chaos?
• Do you know how to set boundaries? 

There are times in our lives that we experience loss, grief, sadness...

Anyone who has entered that dark night of the soul can attest to the warfare. This will bring us face to face with ourselves and hopefully to our knees before the throne of God. This is when we must cling even tighter to the promise of God. Though we may feel forsaken during this trial of faith, we must remember He said He will never forsake us. This is the time to press in, fight those distractions, close the rest of the world out and get before Jesus.

In Acts 9 (click here to read) we learn about a woman who died and they called Peter to come to them. The woman was a disciple and I am sure that they called Peter to come mourn with them. They may not have expected what happened next. Peter arrives on the scene, the women are mourning. They are showing him the garments that she made while she was with them. They were speaking of her in past terms. Understandable, right? We do that at funerals, we display the pictures and talk about all they have done while they were alive. We give them a memorial. Memorials are for the dead.

What did Peter do? Did he sit down with the mourners and grieve and start recalling her life? Did he join the party for the dead? No, he put them out of the room, he shut them out! Then he knelt and prayed and turned to the body and said, "Tabitha, arise." She then opened her eyes and saw Peter and sat up, then Peter took her by the hand and she stood up.

Had Peter joined the grieving party of the mourners she would not have been presented alive. She would have been buried.

Take note of what Peter did. He put the mourners out of the room, closed the door and spoke life.

If you are surrounded by nay sayers, people of unbelief, complainers, gossips, negativity, then you will become just like them. If you allow your thoughts to be constantly bombarded with the things that are contrary to Gods Word and His promise, then you will have unbelief and there is no faith in unbelief. There is no power in unbelief.

We would have to leave this world to be completely rid of all the negativity, but since we are in this world, even though we are not of this world, we must guard our hearts and take care in choosing who we allow into our inner circle.

As believers we are called to be a witness of His glory. We must always point to Christ. We can not fall into agreement with the world. Do NOT get sucked in! Choose wisely who you permit to speak into your life.

You heard the saying, you are what you eat. Keep feeding your mind with poison of defeat and that is what you will become. As followers of Christ we are more than conquerors. We are not called to be a defeated nation, but a Holy Nation. His nation does not add validity to what the world believes.

If you find yourself in a state of confusion, depression, heaviness; take inventory.

Healing, peace, joy and order comes from Him and Him alone. You will not find it in any other substitute. Close the doors to the mourners or you will be attending your own funeral. What good will you be to the commission if you yourself are buried?

Quit seeking for answers elsewhere. Get into your closet and seek Him. Put your armor on daily and do not let anything or anyone steal your peace.

Saturate yourself with His word, surround yourself with His people.




Be Free & Stay Free

Forgotten Desires

Is anything to hard for God? Rise up, woman of God, dust that vision off, now is the time!

Click here for 2 Kings 4:8-37

Do you hold a desire so deep that you fear to voice it? Perhaps this desire was once worn on your sleeve, but when it did not come to pass, you hid it?

God, who searches our hearts, knows us intimately. He knows the deepest desires of our heart and it pleases Him to give us those desires when we delight in Him.

I can imagine the Shunammite woman when Elisha told her she would have a son. Can you imagine?

Here is a woman who wanted a son. Her husband was older in age and she has not conceived a  child. I am sure that after awhile she just accepted, came to terms with, that she would not have children, no son to care for her in her old age. Maybe it became easier to bury it deep, rather than have unfulfilled hope?

Have you ever done that? Have you stifled a dream because you grew weary of hoping and hoping and hoping? Is the pain less when you pretend it wasn't that important to you anyway? Really?


Hope deferred does make the heart sick. We hope, we pray, we bargain, and when it seems to go unanswered, we shrug and say 'I guess I am not meant to have...' Do you do that? I know I have.

When what we desire manifest we cling to it. We must not cling too tight, or we will strangle it. We must not place the desire before God.

We must be like the Shunammite woman, we must not listen to the voice of doubt and fear. We must say, 'Has God not said...'

Seek Him with everything within you. Do not let distractions or people stand in your way. Say and KNOW "it is well!"

v.28 So she said, "Did I ask a son of my Lord? Did I not say, 'do not deceive me'?"

The Lord knows the desire of your heart. Do you not know that He has given it to you? He has also seen the counterfeits come and go to stir your hope to watch it fall. This has caused you to be afraid and to hide. You have buried it so deep in your heart to protect yourself. You have seen others receive what you have wanted and it seemed to just pass you by; as if you have been overlooked.

Let your faith be stirred. Let your hope arise and know...



Though your vision tarries, wait for it! For it will certainly come, it will not delay. It is for an appointed time, but in the end it will speak.


While you are waiting, continue in His presence. Delight yourself in Him. Have a thankful heart filled with gratitude for the Lord. When He says it is done, then it is done!

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

Be free & Stay free
 

Good works aren't good enough

It is not being good that will get you into Heaven. Try as hard as you may, but in your own strength and given to your own devices, this will not do it. Your goodness is not the ticket to Heaven.

Nor is:

• going to church
• singing in the choir
• taking a vow of poverty
• being wealthy
• giving all of your money to causes
• not drinking, smoking, or any other thing you view as wrong
• not stealing
• being kind
• volunteering
• working in ministry
• preaching to thousands
• being faithful to your spouse

The list can go on and on, but you get the point.

Our own righteousness is like a filthy rag Isaiah 64:6.  When we hold ourselves to the law  we will always fall short. There is no way we can fulfill the law. If we break one, we are guilty of breaking them all. There is a price for violating the law and the judge is a just judge and He can not let the guilty go free.

But there is a way!

Thanks be to God, our fine has been paid. Our debt has been paid. It is through this free gift that we can be sure of our salvation. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me."

Let everything you do be to the glory of God. Don't let your good works be for nothing.

For God so loved the world (you and me) that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Be Free and Stay Free

Freedom!

Have you ever wanted something so much that you were willing to pay any price to get it? Make any sacrifice and give all you have for this one thing? Maybe it was a relationship, an object, or a position?

When we have obtained something at a great cost, we cherish it and protect it. It is valuable to us, even if others do not see it's value.

We display it and we guard it so that it will not be lost, broken or stolen. Because we know the price that we have paid for it, we will not be convinced by anyone, or anything, that it is not worth it.

Stop! Before you continue to read this, pause for a moment and think about this.

Then read Ephesians 1:3-14.

I have wanted many things. Some I have obtained and some I haven't. I was willing to sacrifice much to take hold of what I saw as valuable. But, I was never willing, nor did I consider, laying my own life down, or the lives of my children, to receive what I thought was valuable.

Yet, this is what God did for us. He purchased our freedom through the blood of His Son, Jesus. We belonged to sin and the end results would lead us to death (or hell, if I can speak bluntly). But because of His redemption, His grace and His mercy, we belong to Him now. We are His treasures and He paid a great price for us.

Death no longer has a hold on us. Fear has been evicted. There is no more condemnation. We have only assurance that God loves us so much that He gave His only Son for us. Who the Son has set free is free indeed.

So...open your eyes and raise your hands and stand firm on this truth: I am blessed and highly favored and nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can separate me from the love of God.

Be free and stay free!